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a drip of nothing

yunjae
something to pass the time. really. no plot. nothing much. just...words.
The apartment was dark when Jaejoong came home. It sounded quiet, an echoing weight of busy lives paused just long enough to get some sleep before starting up all over again. Closing the door behind him, he leaned on it, wishing for a moment he could shut away the world as easily as he shut the door.

Flinging his car keys on kitchen counter, he shoved off his boots, leaving them in the middle of the living room floor. He’d catch hell about it from Yoochun in the morning but at the moment, just didn’t care. His body ached and his brain felt like exploding from the pressure of being Jaejoong. Stripping off his shirt, he padded into the bedroom he shared with Yunho, not shocked to find it empty.

He’d snapped at his lover, curdling his words into hateful spiced weapons that dug under Yunho’s skin. Now, he was sorry for them but at the time, it was all Jaejoong could do not to walk away. He’d wanted to leave everything behind, everything he’d worked so hard for. In that moment, he’d stood on the edge of his patience and wondered how far he could fall before he hit bottom.

“Probably sleeping in Junsu’s room.” Yanking off his jeans, he let those slide to the floor too, kicking them away. A pillow fit into the hollow of his belly, a comforting softness that cradled his sorrow. A sting of salt wet his lashes and Jae blinked, refusing to shed a tear over the stupidity of the day’s events.

The door opened and then closed, followed by the weight of a familiar body on the bed next to him. Yunho’s hand ran over his hip then up to his shoulder, brushing at the soft hair along his neck. Sighing, Jae turned onto his back to stare up at the dark brown eyes that swallowed him whole.

Jaejoong’s pale body was a slash of ivory skin stretched over muscle and long bone. Dark splotches of purpling blood rose to the surface along his thighs, marring the sleekness of his legs. The stark black of his underwear cast the blush along his stomach into a warm glow, the dip of his belly button a shadow above the elastic waistband. A yellow gold ring winked from the man’s pierced skin, a token Yunho himself threaded through his lover’s body hours ago.

“You okay now, Jae?”

It was a simple question but the answer was too complicated for Jaejoong to speak to. No, he wasn’t okay. The world was too tight around him and he was drowning in a river he made. And when he needed someone to love him, he slashed out at the hearts that were offered to him. How could he be okay?

“No.” A shake of his head brought Yunho up against him, the other man’s body stretching out along his side. The press of Yunho’s fingers on his belly nearly made him cry, an understanding comfort there that Jae felt he didn’t deserve.

“You left too quickly. I would have gone with you.”

“I needed space.”

There was a long pause then Yunho’s velvet voice rumbled with a dark curiosity, “From me?”

“No, from me.” It was the only answer Jae had. The only one he could give. “I needed to get away from me.”

“You can’t run from yourself, baby.” Yunho’s mouth touched the corner of Jae’s lips, sucking out a kiss from the other man’s pout. “No matter how hard you try.”

“I wanted all of this. I wanted me here like this,” Jae waved his hand, encompassing the world around him. “But I feel like sometimes I’m lost under it. Like I don’t know where I am anymore.”

“Right now, we’re in Korea,” Yunho teased.

“Stop. You know what I mean,” He said, slapping at Yunho’s shoulder. “I wanted people to know who I am and now, I feel like I’ve handed them my life and said, here I am for you to play with. And they stick me into poses like I am a doll or pull of my arms and legs like a toy they found on the street.”

“We’re stuck with this, Joongie-ah,” Yunho reminded him. “With all of this. Any control we have on what we do is done here, behind that door when it’s closed. When this is all over, what are we going to miss more? The attention or the quiet times that we shared?”

“Are you saying when this is all over that we’re not going to have quiet times?”

There was danger in answering that, Yunho saw it as a glacier slowly drifting into his path. Grinning, he rested on one elbow and stared down into his lover’s face. “There’s going to be quiet times and probably loud times. But when we’re done being who we are now, we’re not going to remember any of the stupid things that happened. We’re not. We’ll just remember how shocked we were when we saw our faces up on a billboard and wondered if they got something wrong.”

“I’ll remember how I felt when we flew to Paris and thought, I can touch you under the blanket.”

“God, you made that stewardess blush.”

“She was wanted to adjust the blanket!” Jae pushed at his shoulder, nearly knocking Yunho over. “We’d have been in trouble.”

“Listen to me, Jaejoong,” Yunho brushed the back of his fingers against the other man’s lush mouth. “When you need space from the you that you’ve become, run to me instead. I’ve got you, the Jaejoong that you are. I have him in my heart like you have me in yours. Okay?”

“Love you, Yunho.” Jae whispered as his lover’s mouth descended onto his, sealing his words between them.

“I know, baby.” A flick of Yunho’s tongue wet the roof of Jae’s mouth, coaxing a soft moan from the singer’s throat. “I love you too. Now lay back and let me take that worry from your face. I want to give you one of those quiet moments that we’re always going to remember.”

Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
faricsyung
Jan. 21st, 2008 06:54 am (UTC)
This is pretty!!! Sweet YunJae. <333
Thank you for this, unnie!! ^^v
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:12 am (UTC)
smooches. i just needed to scribble down some yunjae. so yeah.... here it is :::grins::: snookies. and chus! :::offers cookies:::
starry1
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:00 am (UTC)
aww that was sweet...
quite moments indeed :)
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:15 am (UTC)
thank you. i needed something sweet. and wanted to share. snookies. ♥♥♥ thank you!
sexineko
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:11 am (UTC)
o.o i commented on detox but i this one in my inbox too and i thought they were different stories. lol turns out its the same one.

i gushed about your story already on detox so i'll just say now. ^^

HIIIII~ how have you been? i havent really seen anything from you in awhile. life's pretty much sucked on my end. >.> but i have Jaeho and DBSK to always make me smile. XDDD
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)
ah, no. ♥♥♥ it's the same one.

how am i? i am okay. trying to get a non-SMM book out so i can move on to the next SMM. :::grins::: which i am churning over in my head. ah, angst, smex and pretty boys. isn't that what life should be about? :::hugs:::

i'm sorry life is bad on your end. smooches honey!
(no subject) - sexineko - Jan. 21st, 2008 10:01 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wedspawn - Jan. 21st, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
machine_of_july
Jan. 21st, 2008 08:07 am (UTC)
Reece, so gooey, so shiny~

*cuddles off with JaeHo to dreamland*
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 08:19 am (UTC)
very gooey. like caramel. mmmmm.. caramel on jae's body. :::grins::: i'm sure yunho and jae will be happy to go off with you into dreamland. :D ♥♥♥ chus.
audient
Jan. 21st, 2008 08:45 am (UTC)
... omg. ;_;

this is pretty. oh yes, so very.
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
smooches. thank you honey. very much. i just wanted a drabble. you know how that is. :) ♥♥♥♥♥ time for bed. oh so late here!
yuki2987
Jan. 21st, 2008 09:12 am (UTC)
Awww, this was so sweet *cheers for the quiet time* ^-^ And for something thats just words it made me smile and brightened up my day ^-^ which is definitely needed today, because its just gloomy an it has been constantly raining :( I love reading your writing to start off my day ^-^ <333
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
♥♥♥♥ snookies. thank you baby. ah, i love the rain. i do. it puts me in the mood to write. it's cold here...for san diego... and we just need some rain.

and i'm starting my day off with a comment from you. how much more sunshine do i need? ::grins::: ♥♥♥ thank you!
already
Jan. 21st, 2008 10:52 am (UTC)
ah that is so sweet *____*
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)
snookies. :::whispers::: i wanted something sweet.
jehannamama
Jan. 21st, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
Golly, you have your ways.
I mean, I am not a fan of slash - but you wield your words so well that it's just a love song.

Really beautiful.
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
smooches honey! ♥♥♥ this really is meant to be ... yeah, i guess a love song. just something small that would take a few minutes but leave a good taste behind, hopefully.

thanks baby!
puchin
Jan. 21st, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
yes! I'm relatively early this time XD!!!! anyways, what can I even say? it's so sweet and appropriate for the lives they live. The wording............. wow........ I don't think I can be deprived of your work ever really, it's as much a staple for my life as, hmm, rice per say :D
wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
♥♥♥♥ thank you baby! thank you so much. :::hugs::: i just wanted...something small. something yunjae. like a truffle. :D

and you are so sweet. thank you.
chloe1910
Jan. 21st, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC)
as usual...I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love then ending..that was really some beautiful queit moments...and yes Jae,when you need space, just run to Yunho..he's got you...

wedspawn
Jan. 21st, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
smooches. thank you honey. just wanted something small and sweet. a cookie!

chus...and snookies.
wh1tel1ly
Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:38 am (UTC)
Oh Jae, You're so lucky to have someone love u like YunHo..

love the ending, so sweet.

<3333
wedspawn
Jan. 22nd, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)
thank you! smooches. i'm glad you liked it. it was just something short :D
annakas
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:20 pm (UTC)
This was so sweet.
Heartwarming.

annakas
wedspawn
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
snookies. thank you honey! :::offers cookies:::
jhing_tearjerky
Jan. 23rd, 2008 10:19 am (UTC)
sweet. lovely. YunJae. ♥

love it! ♥
wedspawn
Jan. 23rd, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
thank you honey! so much! ♥♥♥ snookies.
jedi3460
Jan. 23rd, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
HI
Again I must praise your work.It truly is the "quite times" that make you love your partner most.My husband has for 15yr guarded our "quite moments".Your descriptions are a pleasure to read, and yes "under the blanket" can get you in a lot of trouble,trust me.Many blessings.
wedspawn
Jan. 23rd, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
Re: HI
Ah, thank you so much! :::grins:: i am so grateful for your reading this! thank you. i'm glad you found something nice in this. heh...and yes, watch the blanket :::grins:: snookies.
addicted2tvxq
Jan. 24th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
this is so beautiful..! Love it, as usual. I come here oftenly to see if you've written something and I always get happy when I see you have^^;
Thank you for posting and making such an effort!

hugz
wedspawn
Jan. 24th, 2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
thank you so much! i'm glad you liked it! and thank you for visiting! i try to sneak one in once in a while. snookies!
herokun
Jan. 25th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
I love it!

Your writing style in this piece is different from others. It's simpler and more gentle. And it is perfectly in harmony with the content.

"It was a simple question but the answer was too complicated for Jaejoong to speak to." I love this line. It makes me think of something very near to real life, something mildly perplexed in every relationship. It's small but sometimes it's just too hard to utter, and it always remains. As what you wrote in So Much Mine: "it wasn't all wine and roses". And I love those quiet but bewildering moments because after that, the boys understand and love each other more.

In the end, JaeJoong still has YunHo's shoulder to lean on.

wedspawn
Jan. 25th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
snookies and hugs. ♥♥♥

i do play with writing styles. tarnished angels is very different from SMM. and it's fun to explore how things are put together. :::nods:: i guess i want to always show that no matter what, they are together...and sometimes, the world and its answers are just too much to speak of.

thank you honey. so much. ♥♥♥
(no subject) - herokun - Jan. 25th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wedspawn - Jan. 25th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
fxckinmyway
Jan. 30th, 2008 01:59 pm (UTC)
ah I didn't get to comment on this when I read it before because I was busy so here I am. ^^

well you already know I loved it. ;) so sweet. I read this feeling kinda cold and after reading it I felt warm again, especially when I read the last part. <3 and i kinda needed it that time, so thank you. :)
wedspawn
Jan. 30th, 2008 02:01 pm (UTC)
smooches. thank you honey! oh, i hope you're taking time for yourself. i know being busy fills life a bit too tightly and so, be sure to stop and rest. :::offers cookies::

thank you for reading it. it means a lot to me. i'm glad you liked it. snookies.
ranwae
Feb. 9th, 2008 04:56 am (UTC)
moments like these...are just love <333 must have already been told these but it was short, angsty but turned out sweet. i really like it. am glad i caught this one. yunho...is really the anchor that jaejoong can always return to to remind himself of who he really is. and that probably didnt make any sense but yeah, something like that. enough to say: i am glad they have each other. cheers unnie! *hand u yunjae cookies*
wedspawn
Feb. 9th, 2008 06:23 am (UTC)
snookies and yes, you make sense. i speak fluent yunjae-ese :::hugs:::

thank you honey. very much. snookies.
patra86
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
oh my gaaawwdd!!!that was soooooo emotional! Like..kawaii!!!!ok I hate that word but yeah I felt like saying it. ha ha.
Poor Jae but awwww Yunho!!!! just sooo adorable! he loves his jae so much! gosh! just...too cute.
wedspawn
Mar. 16th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)
aawww, thank you. i wanted a quiet, loving moment between them. it was so important. :::hugs:::

snookies.
michiko_kougai
Aug. 28th, 2009 07:15 am (UTC)
aww!!! so much love!!! ♥
wedspawn
Aug. 28th, 2009 12:58 pm (UTC)
snookies and thank you ♥ :::hugs:::
yummy_dreams
Jul. 29th, 2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
For something you wrote to pass the time... this is really nice :).
I love the tender moments you wrote between them. Some parts seemed sad and melancholy... particularly Jaejoong's sense of confusion about his identity. But Yunho's comforting actions at the end seem to make up for this. Overall, an enjoyable one-shot.
wedspawn
Jul. 29th, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC)
ah thank you. :::hugs::: heh... how are you doing on SMM? too long no? it just kept growing :D

the one shots are nice. very sweet to do. :D
(no subject) - yummy_dreams - Aug. 5th, 2010 06:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wedspawn - Aug. 5th, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
tanya_h24
Aug. 27th, 2010 10:53 am (UTC)
beautiful~ <33
wedspawn
Aug. 27th, 2010 01:59 pm (UTC)
aw thank you honey!
rethzneworld
Sep. 27th, 2010 04:05 pm (UTC)
bliss~ this is beautiful :) the love that they shared is beautiful yunjae are beautiful :)
wedspawn
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:58 am (UTC)
heh .... yunjae is a lovely thing, isn't it? they are gorgeous. ::::grins:::: and well, so much fun. thank you
( 52 comments — Leave a comment )

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