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So Much Mine: Impending Jaeho

Title: So Much Mine
Author: Wedspawn
Genre: Slash/Relationship
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: Eventually NC-17
Beta and Title Gifter: Ranalore
Summary: Section One. The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.


A drop of sweat caught a flash of pulsating light as it trembled on the young Korean’s curved jaw. The driving thump of a bass line vibrated the floor beneath his feet, shuddering the catwalk he’d shimmied onto. Ripples of shadow marbled the laminated sign hanging from the velvet rope that barred the entrance to the walk, warning men that the steel grating was strictly for the female dancers. Jaejoong ignored the sign, curving his lithe body around the wide bouncer, tossing off a charming smile. The man’s broad hand slipped under the rise of Jae’s thighs, cupping at the warmth of the young man’s ass for a brief moment before helping Jaejoong over the velvet rope.

Jae let the press of fingers slide along the inseam of his pants, ignoring the rise of sick in the back of his mouth. The lemon soju he’d tossed back earlier still burned his tender throat, nearly raw from the hours he’d spent practicing. Its potent sting did little to dull the ache beneath his breast bone, a curl of tender pain nothing seemed to ease. The faces around him swam into a paisley sea of pale adoration and sparkling fabrics. Hip hop beat out of the club’s overhead speakers, drowning out any chance of Jae overhearing the murmur of voices around him. Throwing his face back, he inhaled deeply, drawing into his lungs what little cold air the vents were pushing out.

Nothing mattered in the space of that breath, the music pounding through him, an abusive lover he’d found lurking in the dark corners of a dance club. Jae’s body was wound tight, taut muscles bunching beneath his thin white shirt, the cloth soaked transparent from his sweat. The primal drumbeat behind the music called to his blood, his lean body curving onto itself as he hooded his dark eyes, driving the crowd around him further back into the haze of alcohol and need that crawled beneath his skin.

The woman dancing next to him edged closer, her hips twitching seductively as she circled around Jae’s writhing body. Her hands were hot on his shoulders when she finally worked her way in, blood-red fingernails vibrant on Jae’s pale skin. He twisted, face closed off as she tried again. Jaejoong debated for a moment, at war with the anguish in his heart and the deaden weight in his belly. It would be easy to fall into her moist heat, lost in the velvet of a woman’s touch but the dancer’s musky scent left him cold.. a flatness he could taste on the back of his tongue, mingled in with the fumes of the potent soju.

His legs were beginning to ache, a familiar strain in his knee. Jae glanced down at the girl, drawn back in horror at the lust in her face, a scarlet painted mouth whispering his name in a soundless moan. The music shifted, something deeper in emotion rising from the depths of someone else’s lost love.

He caught the sob before it escaped from his full mouth, sharp white teeth digging into his lower lip. Jae swore that he wouldn’t cry… that he wouldn’t let the need he couldn’t chase away with alcohol or exhaustion. The skin on his belly tingled, remembering Yunho’s touch. Their practice session devolved into a shouting match when that touch… that single skimming of fingertips over the low-rise of Jae’s jeans brought him to a standstill.

Jaejoong’s hands found that same spot, curling over the flesh and closing his eyes. Yunho’s sharp words echoed, lost in a loop until all Jae could hear was the admonishment. Each drop of sound drowned out the world, pushing the club’s ear-splitting raucous to the background. His overheated body responding to Yunho’s touch feuded with the heart-sickening spitting disgust the group’s leader shouted at him when he stumbled. Each time he failed, Yunho’s eyes hardened and Jae drove himself further into the depths of his misery.

Club NB staff had grown used to the singer sliding past the main door, a hooded sweatshirt pulled down over his too-pretty face. The bouncers had long waived the 15,000 won cover charge, whispering to the attractive woman that the lead singer of TVfxQ often fell into a dancing trance on the catwalks, stalking free of the steel panels with a thirst for alcohol. They giggled behind raised hands when he smiled at them, a bright plastic beacon of reassurance when he motioned to the pourers that his shot glass was empty.

A hand reached through the haze, familiar and intimate. The females-only rule, broken only by the lithe, heartbroken male beauty who sought solace in the music, had been violated by another. Standing at the crux of two panels, Yunho stood against the light, a corona of red flaring behind him. The stage lights shifted, dousing black then rising into yellow bands rippling over the Korean man’s coldly stern face.

Fingers gripped tight on Jae’s upper arm, digging deep into the tender flesh. With a yank, Yunho dragged at the young singer, ignoring the feminine yelps of outrage when he muscled through the catwalk two-deep in women. Stronger of the two, Yunho felt Jaejoong’s initial resistance, pulling harder as the other singer dug his heels into the ridge of the catwalk’s partitions.

“I’ve had enough of this, Kim Jaejoong.” Yunho kept walking, Jae’s struggles barely noticeable in his ire. “Don’t fight me, Jaejoong. We’re going home.”

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Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
herokun
Jul. 28th, 2008 05:54 am (UTC)
It’s the first chapter of the book and it absolutely fulfills its duty. The details really draw attention and curiosity.

Reading this chap for the first time, I was wondering much about the main character’s situation. What happens to him? What drags him to this club? What makes him suffer so much? Even when YunHo has not shown up, the touch of conflict can be spotted due to what Jae Joong feels.

Whenever rereading this chapter, I pay attention to the atmosphere, the scenery of the club. At first it’s like chaos with pulsating light, the thump of the bass, the vibrated floor, and the shuddering catwalk. All can drive people crazy; drown them in the very depth of its chaos. That background should make people forget everything in their mind but sometimes it deepens their pain. Just like the feeling of lonesome when you are in the center of the crowd. The more people around you, the lonelier you feel. In this case, JaeJoong goes to the club to seek for something making him forget his pain but inversely, it etches the pain into his marrow more.

“The lemon soju he’d tossed back earlier still burned his tender throat, nearly raw from the hours he’d spent practicing. Its potent sting did little to dull the ache beneath his breast bone, a curl of tender pain nothing seemed to ease.” The pain in both physical and mental terms but what hurts his soul is more burning than what hurts his body. The club now is just “The faces around him swam into a paisley sea of pale adoration and sparkling fabrics.” And “….driving the crowd around him further back into the haze of alcohol and need that crawled beneath his skin.” The more the background gets blurred, the acuter the pain grows.

“The music shifted, something deeper in emotion rising from the depths of someone else’s lost love. He caught the sob before it escaped from his full mouth, sharp white teeth digging into his lower lip.” I really like this detail. It uncovers the hidden feeling in Jae. The shifted music is a turning point bringing Jae back to his true self, making him face his true pain. I just feel the pain up to that moment gets deeper and it’s too much to bear.

What happens outside and what churns inside in a piece of writing always inspires me. And the contradiction between the outside chaos and the inside agony in this chapter is so intense. I love this very first chapter of the book; you can call it love at first sight!

Just some of my thoughts of this chapter, I’ll talk about the chapter 2 next time. Once again, thank you so much for writing and sharing! *hugs*



wedspawn
Jul. 28th, 2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
ah, thank you. :::hugs:: those were the feelings i was hoping to invoke with this first chapter... the tightness of Jae's temper and body. and his confusion. and his needing to lose himself in the lights and music.

snookies. and i'm very happy you like it. thank you.
sidmaron
May. 8th, 2009 05:22 pm (UTC)
OMG, I feel a bit embarrassed to leave a short comment after this enormous comment before mine! >___<

But I have to say that I really like how u described the atmosphere. And Jae's feelings were so vivid! ^^

I'm heading off to the next part now. Hehe~
And I'm very curious what's going to happen after all those recommendations I've read! :D
wedspawn
May. 9th, 2009 07:23 am (UTC)
oh thank you for reading SMM. i'm so glad you found it! thank you. snookies. i hope you enjoy the rest of it. :::snoooookies:::::
jingeng
Sep. 27th, 2009 11:57 pm (UTC)
Now I'm glad that I decided to read from the beginning ^^

I really like it so far.
The way you described Jae's feelings, the atmosphere.. Everything <3

wedspawn
Sep. 28th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
aw, thank you. :::grins and snookies:::

hitomi2oo7
Jan. 4th, 2010 02:02 am (UTC)
the best YunJae fic I ever read
This is just beautiful! I just love your fic it's first to me that I fell in love with rated YunJae fic (I prefer the fluff) yet still you make me love your fic! It's awesome!
By the way Always Keep the Faith! (^o^)/
wedspawn
Jan. 4th, 2010 02:04 am (UTC)
Re: the best YunJae fic I ever read
aw, thank you for reading the SMM universe. it's been great to play in. thank you so much! snookies.
vivoperleix
May. 23rd, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Wow, this is so stunningly articulate after a long string of some what fics with less class. I love it,
wedspawn
May. 23rd, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)
aw, thank you so much. i hope you enjoy the chapters. ::::hugs::: thank you so much.
booger_lol_lol
Jun. 6th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC)
i added you.. you're too good to pass by... could you add me back?? ^^

your fics are too wonderful.. you already caught me in the first chapter.. you're too COOL.. i like you very much... lol.. its too cool....................... :)
wedspawn
Jun. 7th, 2010 12:57 am (UTC)
smooches and of course. ::::hugs:::: ah, SMM. a lot of fun to write. but oh, it broke my brain. i hope you like it!
deandeelion
Dec. 27th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
still first chapter but you got me hooked up already. the words are arranged beyond great and beautifully written. pure awesomeness! *two tumbs up*
SMM absolutely fulfilled my craving for Rated YunJae/JaeHo fic!(and the band!verse universe just made it perfect combination!)
i know i would never regret it first time i dropped by your journal. ^^ LOVE THIS SFM!
wedspawn
Dec. 27th, 2010 03:31 am (UTC)
hello and snookies! :::grins:::

I hope you enjoy it. it's one of the more florid pieces but i felt the style suited YunJae. :::nods:::

Let me know how you like it! and many thanks for reading! thank you!
aidana_astyanax
Dec. 31st, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC)
Sooo....
Here comes a confession.
I have had your pdf's of the SMM universe on my computer for... at least 6 months, and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure how many times I've read them, or bits of them. And then it came to me, considdering how much you (as in me :p) love this verse, wouldn't the right thing to do be to give a certain author back some love? So, here I am, on my n'th re-read, reading it online for once, and fully intent on commenting ;)

I can vaguely remembering reading this chapter the first time, and I was so confused. (I was also fairly new to the whole DBSK fandom) You meet this person who is just screaming pain with every action he does, and you are so intrigued by it. You care from the word go, and you just want to know why this person is hurting so bad.
The way you describe the whole setting is fantastic, and I think that is a big reason to why I love the way you write so much <3
wedspawn
Dec. 31st, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
Re: Sooo....
aw, thank you honey. :::hugs:::

SMM. ah this universe was so... complex and painful. i hadn't meant it to be. really. i'd just figured a few chapters perhaps. a one shot? and then... the story floated away from that.

i am glad that you liked it. still like it. especially well enough to read it over again. :D ::::hugs:::

snookies and thank you. i can't say that enough.
black_prophet
Apr. 19th, 2011 06:01 am (UTC)
Omo... So, here I am again. Taking a shot at leaving you a real comment, we'll see how long before I dissolve into fangirlish hysterics. Don't have much hope for myself, but here it goes. I'd first like to admit that I've read So Much Mine probably four times all the way through. And have just been waaay to chicken-hearted to comment. *weirdly shai like that*
And I did already admit I might run through and comment on everything... So I thought I'd start here.
I love your descriptions. I love how so much of this first chapter is about everything around Jae, as much as it is his thoughts on everything. There's hardly any dialogue but the chapter itself says so much. I also love your feral/wild Jaejoong and how he tears at himself so much over mistakes, how Yunho's words slice right through him, how he tries to forget with soju and dancing. Your writing style is simply wonderful, one of my favorites for sure.
So, thank you for writing this. And being so nice/amazing in general.
♥La
wedspawn
Apr. 19th, 2011 04:39 pm (UTC)
ah, it's a lovely comment and no, always feel like you can share... even if you don't like something. always talk about how you feel. :::nods::: totally safe to do so here. promise! :D

jaejoong. i wanted to portray the street child... the androgynous one who has emotions larger than himself. more than he could contain. i am glad you like it. thank you! snookies.
mistyjj
Jul. 18th, 2011 08:09 am (UTC)
helLo.
I want to be ur friend, can u adD me bAck please?

I love reading yunjae fic and i hope i cAn all of ur fics! Thanks..ü
wedspawn
Jul. 18th, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC)
Re: helLo.
Hello! how are you? Well, this LJ is open to everyone but sure, I will friend you back. I hope you enjoy them. Snookies and thank you for reading!
babygirladdy
Jul. 30th, 2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
Interesting Phenomenon
I absolutely love your work. It's truly beautiful and so well-written. ^.^ I'll admit the only thing that bothers me is that it might be slightly TOO well written... the dialogue is so complex and well-worded that it becomes a little too wordy and unrealistic for me. I find my brain tripping over thoughts of "they wouldn't say it like that, it's too articulate" in the midst of "that's just beautiful.." lol I love it, it's just an interesting problem in good writing I haven't really come across before. lol
wedspawn
Jul. 30th, 2011 03:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Interesting Phenomenon
Heh.

Ah, SMM is written is a very gothic style, leaning more towards a poetic language. No, it's not a realistic representation of what normal guys would say :::Grins::: So Yes, you've got that correct. I purposely wrote this and a couple of others in this style because it's the only way I could get English to give me the symbolic depth of Asian phrases — the double weighted language of formal and informal.

I have other pieces that I write that are more contemporary in voice but for this, I went with the florid, to capture that lusher feeling of language. :D

Snookies and I hope you enjoy what you read.
devilnh
Sep. 9th, 2011 08:55 am (UTC)
what shall i write here? the 1st commenter did gave a great piece of her mind there...

anyways.. this is my first time reading this fic. i've bookmarked this ages ago but now that i've some time to spare ,i didnt regret choosing this. even the 1st chapter make me want to read more...

p/s: have a great day ^^. *i am yunjae fan*
wedspawn
Sep. 9th, 2011 01:49 pm (UTC)
smooches and thank you! ::::hugs::: ah, SMM is a labour of love and oh, so much a yunjae fan. I hope you like the story!

Haato!
chellabulad
Sep. 26th, 2011 09:41 am (UTC)
I know I'm sooo late to read this because you write this like 5 years ago

and oh God, English's not my first language and the heavy English that you used completely confused me
But I will still read this, Google translate is ready to help me LOL

and the story line's cool, I love how Yun tried to control Jae =D

Thanks for sharing
wedspawn
Sep. 26th, 2011 01:49 pm (UTC)
:::::hugs:::: you are never too late to read this. i am touched that you are reading it now. ::::offers you cocoa:::: Smooches and thank you!
2minlover
May. 4th, 2012 10:47 am (UTC)
waaau.. It's been almost 6 years since you started SMM verse!
I know it's a bit, okay, a lot on a creepy side, but I'm just really going through your archive in hope of finding something you've written and I've not read!

/gets stalker award/

smooches!!! and hugs!
wedspawn
May. 4th, 2012 05:00 pm (UTC)
::::hugs:::: AH, isn't it odd that it's been so long? no, not creepy at all. i do hope to return to the verse in a few months. i need to have a fanfic fix. :::winks:::

Smooches and haato!
ztarplay
Nov. 9th, 2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
I'm finally getting around to reading this. And my first impression ... INCREDIBLE ATMOSPHERE! I can't wait to see how the story develops but already I feel myself invested in it. I can't get the feel of the club and the image of Jae so dumbfounded and conflicted on the dance floor out of my head.
wedspawn
Nov. 9th, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Ah, I am glad you found it and are liking it! *grins*

Oh you'll have to tell me how you felt at the end. Much love.
redsky6002
Dec. 1st, 2012 03:46 am (UTC)
just found this fic.. sorry.. :((

i love the way you describe the situations and the tense between them is amazing..

idk how this story will developed,, but i think i fall in love w/ this fic..

i'm gonna read the next chapter..
^^
wedspawn
Dec. 1st, 2012 03:49 am (UTC)
Oh no worries! I am glad you found it! I hope you enjoy the story! HAATO!
mihi_d1512
Dec. 5th, 2012 01:52 pm (UTC)
ahh my bad english... i cant understand 80% (possibly) of this chapter T.T
i'll try to continue to next chapter nvrtheless :p
wedspawn
Dec. 5th, 2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
*hugs* smooooches. take your time and your english written here is great!
iscreamdongbang
Apr. 18th, 2013 10:46 am (UTC)
I've been wanting to read this and now I've finally read the first chapter! :)
I like how you described the scene and Jaejoong's feelings. The first thing that came to my mind was OH NO! Jaejoong and Yunho already got into a fight or something. TAT LOL but then Yunho grabbed Jaejoong at the end and my heart just fluttered. >.<
Gosh! I'm such a sucker for forceful!Yunho. /hides
Can't wait to read the next chapter! :))

wedspawn
Apr. 19th, 2013 04:34 pm (UTC)
Heh heh heh.....woooooooooooooooooot! *hugs*
KimYoonHae26162
Jul. 11th, 2013 04:04 am (UTC)
Hi ^^
I read your fanfic and i really really like it :)
I'm Vietnamese and I ship YunJae. I'm so happy when I see their love ^^
So can i translate this fanfic in VNese??? ^^
I wanna share this love story with all YJS in VN
wedspawn
Jul. 11th, 2013 04:54 am (UTC)
Of course. Anything on this site you are free to translate *HUGS*
roham18
Jan. 6th, 2014 05:29 pm (UTC)
this seems intersting runs to read the rest ^^ btw thanks for writing and sharing♥
wedspawn
Jan. 6th, 2014 05:37 pm (UTC)
Heh. Thank you.
livejournal
Mar. 10th, 2014 10:42 am (UTC)
MY REC LIST
User yjjyc referenced to your post from MY REC LIST saying: [...] s why he hired Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun who are responsible for his security. So Much Mine [...]
( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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