Pairing: Jaejoong and Junsu (apparently Yoochun and Yunho / Min7en too)
Summary: Junsu discovers an emptiness in his heart and is afraid the only person who can fill it is someone too broken...too afraid to be loved.
Sections: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Se7en, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven
For Maria, Scarletpeonies, Calyto and most of all, my Ree.
The richness of Junsu’s golden skin stretched out before Jaejoong’s incredulous eyes. The man’s slender shoulders, broad enough to create an intriguing V shape, were sharp with jutting blades that moved like wings as Junsu shed his t-shirt. Shadows clung to the dip of Junsu’s spine, the serpentine line wove down, rising up as it approached the low slung waist of Junsu’s cotton pants.
And Jaejoong’s mouth went dry with the thought of what lay beyond.
He’d seen Junsu naked before. Small glimpses of dusty gold flesh ripe with sensual movements but Jae hadn’t dared to do more than peek. He couldn’t trust himself. Not then. Not when his heart was fractured and his mind confused about the attraction he was feeling towards a man he knew he didn’t deserve.
A man who now loved him. Who’d loved him for as long as he remembered. It was a dream come to life and one Jaejoong was deathly afraid would pop like a soap bubble if he touched it.
But Junsu’s body begged to be touched. And the desire to have Jaejoong’s hands on him was clear in the younger man’s eyes when Junsu turned to stare at Jaejoong’s trembling body.
Jaejoong stood stock still, his arms still entangled in the sleeves of his dress shirt. Enraptured by the sight of Junsu undressing, he’d stopped disrobing. His jeans were mostly unbuttoned and Junsu caught a glimpse of soft shadow from the V of the open denim. The patch of bare skin and hint of soft black hair told him Jaejoong wasn’t wearing any underwear.
The idea of Jaejoong’s bare skin pinked and roughened by the soft denim of his jeans made Junsu’s mouth water.
The heat in Jaejoong’s gaze dried that water right up.
There was a promise in that stare. A promise of hours spent naked and spread out on soft sheets as Jaejoong explored his body with a rough tongue and not-so-gentle fingers. Junsu wanted Jaejoong to fill the emptiness aching within him. He’d worried the needs boiling inside of him, unfulfilled and confused despite the complicated warmth of his love for Jaejoong. He just didn’t know what to say to bring the man closer…what he could do to tell Jaejoong he longed for the man’s touch.
A sigh from his parted lips was all Junsu needed to draw his lover to his side.
“I want to go slow,” Jaejoong whispered into Junsu’s ear. “I want to taste every inch of you. I want to taste…everything of you.”
He nuzzled the young man’s neck, taking small bites of golden skin as he worked his way across the breadth of Junsu’s shoulder. Moaning, Junsu tilted his head back and went slack in Jaejoong’s arms, falling into the heady sensation of Jaejoong’s full mouth roaming over his body.
A small pinch of his nipple ground a tortured gasp from Junsu’s open mouth and he looked down, eyes glazed and dilated with desire. Jaejoong’s smile was a mysterious, sly promise. Weighted with an erotic knowledge, the slow, pleased spread of the man’s mouth sent a ripple of anticipation and fear though Junsu’s tingling nerves. Another brush of Jaejoong’s nails over his nipple and Junsu was lost, his arousal spiking.
Cold air prickled Junsu’s skin and the slide of his pants off of his legs nearly brought him to his knees. Jaejoong’s hands ghosted over his body, running down the firmness of his rib cage and over the smooth flesh on his hips. The ceiling shifted above him and Junsu fell backwards, hitting the bed with a soft bounce. His legs were still snarled up in his pants but the feel of smooth sheets on his bare ass meant Jaejoong pulled his underwear down with his sweats.
Jaejoong leaned over Junsu’s naked thighs and bent his head down. His breath ran hot over Junsu’s bare skin and the soft silk of his hair brushed over the tenor’s hard sex. Ignoring the jut of Junsu’s cock, Jaejoong worked his fingers into the other man’s pants and slowly drew them down further. His tongue followed the fabric’s progress, laving long swipes over Junsu’s trembling legs. Junsu’s underwear was discarded along with his cotton trousers and Jaejoong sat back, admiring the muscular lithe man he’d wanted and loved.
As athletic as he was musical, Junsu’s love for sports shone in the power of his legs. Unlike Jaejoong’s long, honed form, Junsu’s body was compact and strong, built for stamina and speed. Tracing the lines of Junsu’s thigh muscles with his thumbs, Jaejoong rose up off of his haunches and stepped out of his rolled down jeans, kicking them to the side of the bed.
Massaging Junsu’s shins, Jaejoong purred in his throat when Junsu’s hands touched his shoulders. Curving down Jae’s body, Junsu hooked his fingers under his lover’s upper arms and pulled Jae up until they were nose to nose. Their cocks danced around each other, their wet, hard tips sliding around the other’s glans.
“I want you, Joongie-ah,” Junsu whispered over Jae’s lips. He nibbled on the corners of Jae’s shy smile. The older man trembled with the want of him and for the first time, Junsu reveled in the power he had over the man.
Rolling Jaejoong over onto his back, Junsu straddled the man’s hips. The jut of Jae’s cock against the plumpness of his ass made Junsu involuntary wriggle against the hard shaft. The anguished moan and clutch of Jae’s throat as it tightened fed Junsu’s pleasure and he reached back to grasp the man’s cock. Trapping the shaft into the cleft of his cheeks, Junsu slid forward, slowly working the man’s sex up and down the heat of his parted ass.
“Susu….” Jaejoong reached for the other man’s waist. Digging his fingers into Junsu’s hard body, he writhed as he tried to pull the man towards him. “Stop. I can’t…. I can’t hold on.”
For the first time in his life, Junsu felt…wicked. The man rolling his hips under him did so because of Junsu’s touch and the tenor wanted to revel in that power, prolonging it as long as he could. Slowing his stroke, he bent forward and kissed Jae’s chest, surprised at the silken touch of the man’s skin on his lips.
Spreading his hands over Jae’s nipples, he kept the man off balance with a thrust of his hips. Lifting up enough to work Jae’s shaft forward, Junsu gingerly settled back down, trapping Jae’s sex between them. His own cock wept its own milky tears, moistening the spongy head. Scrunching forward, Junsu pulled another hard moan from Jaejoong’s open mouth and he forced his thighs together to keep from being bucked off of Jae’s thrusting hips.
The churn of desire in his balls warned Junsu he was as close as Jae was and he rocked forward. Jaejoong’s hand tangled in Junsu’s short hair and the tenor was forced down until their lips met in a hard kiss. The man’s other hand skimmed over Junsu’s hip, stopping at the rise of his ass. Gripping the firm flesh he found there, Jae held on tightly to undulating rise and thrust up, rubbing his thick shaft against Junsu’s.
They fell into a hard pace, grinding their hips together while their mouths met and fell apart only long enough for them to find air before they were at one another again. Jaejoong’s tongue danced over Junsu’s and he suckled at the younger man’s lips, pulling at the upper swell with his teeth. The friction between them grew and Junsu’s need spilled over him. The shock of his desire struck and his body went rigid, riding out the waves of pleasure pouring out of him.
The first release of his seed came as a surprise, exploding up from Junsu’s sac with a rush of heat that he was certain burned up from his core. A wash of hot liquid over his belly spread down over his still moving hips, mingling with his own seed. The spicy scent of Jae’s hot spill wove around the salty sweet perfume of his own body and Junsu slid down Jaejoong’s body, boneless from his release.
Panting from the exertion of their almost-sex, Junsu lay on Jae’s torso. His hand trembled as he ran his finger tips through the warm fluids. His heart pounded as he swirled his index finger into the cooling pearl liquid and Junsu quickly daubed a bit of it onto his tongue, needing to taste his first union with the man who held his heart.
“Susu-ah…” Jaejoong groaned. His body responded at the sight of Junsu tasting him and Jaejoong reached for Junsu’s wrist before the young man could take another lick. “That’s…”
“You taste good,” Junsu whispered. “We taste good. Like we belong together. I want more of this, Joongie-ah. I want more of you. I want you inside of me.”
“I’ve never… you’ve never…” Jaejoong’s protests were weakened by the surge of desire thickening his cock. His sex responded quicker than it ever had before, elongating out quickly just at the thought of Junsu’s body surrounding him. Jae took a deep breath when Junsu slid off of his stomach and he found himself deeply missing the other man’s weight. The brush of Junsu’s fingers across his damp cock made him wince from the tenderness of the still soft head.
“Too much? If you don’t want to…” Junsu said softly. He smiled at Jae’s slow shake of his head. Knowing the nearly painful feel of his own cock after an orgasm, the tenor carefully avoided touching Jae’s hardening shaft. Instead, he whispered tiny kisses over Jae’s hip bone and up his side. “I will break the back of this long winter night, folding it double, cold beneath my spring quilt, that I may draw out the night, should my love return.”*
“Are you whispering old love poems to my body? Hoping it will rise up for you?” Jae laughed, a silvery sound that touched the depths of Junsu’s heart.
“I think your body… this…” Junsu said, circling his fingers around the base of Jae’s thickening cock. “I think this part of you wakens from its winter very quickly.”
“Winter always flees under the brightness of the spring sun.” His laughter gone, Jaejoong pulled Junsu up, cradling the younger man to him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Susu-ah. I could never…want that.”
“You and I…we’ve felt a lot of pain.” The younger man’s eyes were serious, a thoughtful respite from the warm laughter that normally filled them. “You could never give me a pain so strong that I would walk away from you but you can give me a pleasure that would make me want to stay forever. I can’t ever see myself leaving your side, Kim Jaejoong. So why shouldn’t I try to reach for the pleasure that can be mine forever?”
“I promise you, Junsu,” Jaejoong said, his eyes tearing as he leaned towards his lover. He left a gentle kiss on the man’s temple, murmuring into Junsu’s hair. “I will do my best not to hurt you. Here tonight… or anytime in our forever.”
The bedroom became their own little world. As time spun on outside of the walls, the men explored the newly formed landscape of their union. Junsu found kissing the beauty mark beneath Jae’s jaw made him laugh while Jaejoong’s tongue seemed to instinctively discover every ticklish spot on Junsu’s body. Their languid journey grew with intensity as their knowledge of one another’s bodies increased and when Junsu’s plump lips closed over the tip of Jaejoong’s sex, they both knew the moment had arrived to push past their murmured fears and fall into the pleasures just beyond.
Between overheard whispers and illicit books hidden in dark corners of their rooms, they knew what to do but the how frightened both of them. Taking a deep breath, Junsu grabbed the small bottle of lube he’d gotten in hope that Jaejoong would one day share his bed and handed it to the other man.
“We need to… just do, Joongie-ah,” Junsu whispered. “I know there’s a part of me deep inside that needs to feel you against it. I want you to be my first. I want you to be my only.”
The citrus scent of the lubrication was sharp, cutting through the musky perfume of their sex. Tilting the bottle back, Jaejoong poured a line of the slick liquid onto his own cock, rubbing it around the shaft to coat his fingers. Kissing Junsu deeply, he edged forward and lightly touched the tight, pink furl buried between Junsu’s legs.
Splayed out on his back, Junsu shifted on the bed and gripped the sheets in a tight clench. The press of Jaejoong’s fingers against his entrance excited him and any lingering whisper of fear he might have had wasted away at the pressure growing inside of him. Opening his eyes, he stared up at Jaejoong, marveling at the man’s pretty face.
“Mine,” Junsu whispered. He repeated the word in Japanese then English, earning him a chuckle from the other man. Letting go of the sheet, he smacked Jaejoong on the shoulder. “Don’t laugh at me. I want everyone to know you’re mine. No matter what language they speak.”
“Yours,” Jaejoong agreed. “The dark to your light.”
The burn of Jae’s finger entering him was a shock. More friction than pain, Junsu hissed through the curls of resistance his body gave Jaejoong’s intrusion. Encouraging the other man to go further, Junsu hooked his hands under his thighs and spread his legs apart further, urging Jae to take him further.
Cautiously, Jaejoong dribbled more lubricant over his fingers and pressed in, spreading Junsu’s entrance apart under a gentle assault. Hooking his index finger up, he skimmed the area inside of Junsu directly beneath the man’s sac and nearly lost his grip when Junsu arched with pleasure.
“God, there…” Junsu cried out as he worked down onto Jae’s fingers. “Right…there, Joongie-ah. Please, right there. That’s where I need you. Please. Now.”
The slick on his hands was enough to coat Jae’s hard shaft and he poised himself at the brink of Junsu’s entrance. Staring down at his lover’s supine body, he let his eyes wander up until he met Junsu’s gaze. A brief nod was all he needed and Jaejoong pushed slowly into the promised warmth of Junsu’s love.
He’d imagined the clench of another man around him would be like a glimpse of Heaven.
Jaejoong never imagined the feel of Junsu pulling him in deeper would be drinking from the hands of God Himself.
Junsu clasped his hands over Jaejoong’s arms, supporting himself with the strength of his lover’s muscles. They began to move, no longer unsure of what to do. Instead they answered to the primal song within them, rising and falling with each rocking motion of their bodies.
Grunting, Jae thrust in deep, feeling the burn of his muscles straining to reach deeper and deeper into Junsu’s body. The plump rise of the man’s ass spread out under him drove Jae wild and he arched, tilting his shoulders back so he could see his cock being suckled by Junsu’s tight entrance. The lubrication ran hot and slick between them, the scent of their skin growing pungent with citrus and their sexual trace.
The walls surrounding them fell away and they soared, tangled up in each other’s bodies. Junsu felt the rush of pleasure when Jaejoong angled his hips and struck the nerves hidden inside of him. Unable to stop himself, the tenor screamed, letting loose the want pooling in his belly with a hoarse shout. His words were no longer sensible, merely mewlings and urgings to his lover to reach inside of him again, promising to do anything if only Jaejoong would find that spot again.
A tilt of Jae’s hips ground more promises from Junsu’s mouth, his words now filthy with guttural sounds and the clench of his teeth on his lower lip from the ecstasy coursing through him.
Their rhythm was constant, punctuated by the sharp slap of Jae’s skin as his hips snapped forward. Plunging in deep, he broke the pace, slowing down on some strokes only to quicken on another. With the breadth of Jae’s shaft widening his entrance, Junsu whimpered when Jae slid nearly all the way clear of him then slowly refilled him to the brim.
“Needing you. Love this so much,” Junsu moaned, unable to keep his breath from shattering under the hard thrusts piercing his body.
Sweat pooled on their bodies. A thin sheen coated Junsu’s chest and a bead welled up on Jaejoong’s shoulders. It shook with each plunge of Jaejoong’s hips until one smooth curve of Jae’s body sent it off balance. The clear pearl caught the motion of Jaejoong’s lovemaking and it swerved, catching the dip of Jae’s spine. Running down the length of Jaejoong’s back, the drop arched across his side, splashing onto Junsu’s wrist.
Overwhelmed by the sensations rising in him, Junsu fought to find one thing to focus on, anything other than the sharp rise and fall of his seed boiling up from his sac. The bite of Jaejoong’s teeth on his nipple drove him insane and he twisted under the man’s mouth, both wanting to find his release and needing Jae to never leave his body. A curl of Jae’s hips, fluid and graceful, smeared Jae’s cock against the length of Junsu’s nerve endings, leaving a long trail of sparks behind as he withdrew.
Jaejoong repeated the motion, quickening the pace as Junsu’s pleasure rocketed up from his groin. Blood flushed Junsu’s skin to a dark pink, turning him rosy gold. Jae’s hands remained on Junsu’s hips, holding the man up as he pounded into Junsu. Gasping, Junsu ached with the effort to keep his release, wanting to lose himself at the same time as Jaejoong but the older man leaned forward, bending nearly in half to lay a wet kiss on Junsu’s open mouth.
“Let go, Junsu,” Jaejoong drank from Junsu’s mouth and spat the words back, coaxing his lover to the edge. “Come for me and let me see how much you love me in your eyes.”
The universe fell. Junsu knew it was impossible but he could see it spiraling down around him. The stars were no longer out of reach. Instead, they burned down under his skin, filling him as Jaejoong stroked his core again. A sun burned black, searing its corona into Junsu’s consciousness and he gave into the showering light.
Then he felt the first kiss of Jaejoong’s seed inside of him and Junsu wept from the sweetness of his world blooming open.
The hot liquid reached deep inside of Junsu and he groaned, feeling his body curl in on itself. His own release hit and the skies turned black, the curve of stars no longer surrounding him but bursting up from his core. The shaking in his limbs grew and Junsu cried out, spraying his seed over Jaejoong’s stomach. Half-blind from his pleasure, he reached up to touch Jaejoong’s sweat-moistened face, working the pad of his thumb across his lover’s teeth-dimpled lips.
“I love you,” Junsu panted, arching again as another orgasmic wave hit him. “Love you.”
They thrust again, slower again as their bodies gave into the lessening tide of their release. Exhausted, they lay against one another, struggling to take in every breathe. Quivering with the effort of merely drawing air into his lungs, Junsu complained when Jaejoong slid out of him, leaving him empty even though he was full to the depths of his soul with Jaejoong’s kisses and seed. He didn’t have enough energy to do anything but whimper his complaints and they soon turned to soft contented sighs as Jaejoong curled up against his side.
“Is the winter gone?” Junsu finally found his tongue, whispering as Jae’s fingers explored his face. “Did I bring you spring?”
“You brought me more than spring, Susu-ah.” Stroking Junsu’s cheek, Jaejoong gazed into his lover’s open and still innocent features. I'll go back to heaven again. Hand in hand with the dew that melts at a touch of the dawning day. I'll go back to heaven again. With the dusk, together, just we two, at a sign from a cloud after playing on the slopes. I'll go back to heaven again. At the end of my outing to this beautiful world. I'll go back and say: It was beautiful.”**
“Saranghae, Jaejoong-ah,” Junsu murmured.
Jaejoong stole another kiss, lingering at the salted sweet taste of Junsu’s pleasure-swollen mouth. “Saranghae, my Junsu. Thank you for bringing me the sun.”
* Untitled romantic sijo poem, Hwang Jini
** Back to Heaven, Chŏn Sang-pyŏng