Rating: Many Lemons! NC-17
Very lemony! Highly lemon! Warning!
They are far from their home. Outside of the haven that they have carved for themselves in Seoul. Jaejoong turned over, laying on his back to stare up at the unfamiliar ceiling. The succession of hotel rooms and hurried meals were taking a toll on his slender body, hours spent pounding new dance routines into his memory, his throat raw from singing the same notes over and over until he nearly wept from exhaustion.
Finally able to collapse after a long day of moving from radio station to personal appearances then finally to a television show where they fought to master simple phrases in three different languages, each fluid song translated into slow intonations, phonetic numbing expressions that Jaejoong wept at the thought of mastering. Yunho struggled beside him, the other three also working their tongues around unfamiliar sounds, their comprehension sometimes fading under the sheer brunt of lingual difficulties.
As the remainder of the afternoon passed under Jaejoong’s sleepy eyes, closed against the washed over sun hidden behind the drawn curtains, the world moved about around him. Yoochun stopped before he left their shared room, tucking the edge of a sheet around Jae’s bare shoulders. Goose bumps ranged over the singer’s chilled skin, his body temperature low from lack of sleep. Brushing a kiss over his friend’s temple, Yoochun wished Jaejoong a peaceful evening, seeing the strain on the singer’s features under the mask of slumber.
Hidden in the upper reaches of the hotel’s high towers, the suites were expensive, glass-enrobed cages, cold faceless stretches of fabrics and woods, glazed over with the plastic smell of discomfort. Undefined aromas caught in the cloistered air, unfamiliar body scents lingering where others touched, paring off any calm Jaejoong might have found in the days of their stay. He knew he was a creature of habits, long inured to making a nest of where he lived. It was his only constant, a den of pillows and the softness of worn clothes, a hermit amid the transitory movement around him. It was too lonely of an existence for a person with a lifeline of family and friends. For a discarded boy-child like Jaejoong, it was heartbreaking agony shaved down with steel razors of denial as he reassured himself that he needed no one to make him whole and strong.
An unspoken truth remained on the flat of his tongue, he missed Yunho in the middle of the night, although he wouldn’t dream of giving the leader the satisfaction of knowing that. Yunho’s ego was big enough as it was, it didn’t need feeding to make it fatter. Yet Jaejoong ached with need, not just for the release of his sex. He had his own fingers and hands for that. Rather, it was the gentle possessiveness of the other man that he missed, the cradling of the taller body on his, words whispered in his ear to tell him that he would be protected.
Fierce in his stubbornness and contrary nature, Jaejoong still longed to rest in the warmth of someone else’s soul. Yunho gave him that, the chance to just let the world go by without having to be wary and on guard. His lover’s heart was a treasure but the safety of sanctuary was a priceless gift Jae cherished.
Management knew of his coupling with Yunho, ensuring that they roomed apart during trips outside of South Korea. It rankled Jaejoong’s pride, having to bow down to someone else’s demands. But the hesitant looks in the others’ eyes reminded the feral young man that he had obligations to the close-knit family of five bonded on this journey through Asia…however hard it was to swallow his bitter ire at the thought of hiding his love for Yunho.
Yoochun’s clothes lay on the floor between their beds, a casual discard that branded the room as theirs. Jaejoong couldn’t even tell what city they were in, the buildings now a blur in his mind, the rush of airports speeding past his sight, long hops and then longer drives to places where nothing was familiar but the four faces near him. He found the comfort of home in their voices, laughter and shared intimacies, a balm on his troubled soul.
Soft bedding felt warm on Jae’s naked body, the velvet cotton smooth on his aching thighs. The waning sunlight outside promised little warmth, barely a ray of yellow touching the undersides of grey storm clouds. It would be morning before he had to be somewhere, their manager noticing the sullen pout and furrowed tightness of his features when they’d finally been able to pull free from the last of the interviews and decided it would be far better to let the singer decompress than unravel in front of a camera.
Jae needed time to centre, his mind starting to wander under the pressure of being clustered tight under control. The others found it easier to play into the banter of interviews, Yunho a master at assuming the leadership role, solemn and guiding the other members in their answers. Jaejoong mostly felt tired, worn down and used dry, wanting only to curl into the softness of a pillow that smelled of green tea and kisses, the linens damp from the tears he shed for Yunho’s touch.
Everything was stolen now, a glance… a brushing skim of fingers along his back. Even the clasp of the leader’s hand over his thigh was painful, a reminder that this would be the only hug he would get that day, lost amid the shuffle of words and practice. Kisses became the taste of spit on a water bottle, shared between them, sometimes even tasting of Yoochun or Junsu, Yunho conscious of trying to downplay their intimacy. Jaejoong heard the murmurs of want riding in Yunho’s voice, small pearls dropped in velvet for him to find. Most days it made him want the leader more, his belly cramping from the desire. Other days, the torment became too much and Jae nearly wished he’d never fallen in love with the other man, spending time so close to an untouchable need nearly broke him with each passing second.
He’d never felt anyplace was home. There were too many threads pulling at the hooks embedded in his soul for that. The bottoms of his feet itched with the need to see the world, to have it in his hands but the reality of the expanse was nearly too much for the empty-souled child he’d been. No words of comfort stroked at his mind, no hands pressed between his shoulder blades to take the chill of rejection from his body. Only when he’d settled into the group and fought for his place did Jaejoong discover a niche to place his heart into, its broken pieces littering the ground like dried rose petals caught in an icy storm.
Yunho… the bane of his heart… now the saviour of his soul knocked on the open door, his broad shoulders canted to slip into the room. Jaejoong smiled, sliding over onto the bed to make room for his lover, reaching out with one hand to greet the other man. Slipping his shoes off of his feet, Yunho slid under the sheets, opening his arms for Jaejoong to cuddle close.
“I thought you went with the others.” Jae wrinkled his nose at his own mouth. Shaking his head as Yunho bent in to kiss him, Jaejoong closed his lips tight. “Let me…”
“Boo, you are so strange sometimes.” Yunho released Jaejoong’s waist, watching the singer pad to the bathroom, his rear pert and clenching as he walked.
Leaning back into the warm pillows, Yunho breathed in Jae’s scent, citrus and musky, a sweet tang of chai on his heart. The sound of water rushed from the open door to the bathroom, Jae’s electric toothbrush a quiet counter hum below the gurgling comfort. A flush of the toilet and Jae’s cursing at hitting his foot on the edge of the pedestal sink made Yunho smile widely, shaking his head at the singer’s rush to get back to bed. Coming back to the main room, Jaejoong tied off the drawstrings of his sweats, tugging the hems free of his ankles ass he prowled over the mattress towards Yunho’s mouth.
“Why did you get dressed?” Yunho suckled on Jae’s lower lip, pulling the plumpness into his mouth. Biting down softly, the leader growled in pleasure at making Jae’s moan rise hot in the air, the singer mewling as he slid on top of his lover’s sprawled body.
“I didn’t want to make things too easy for you.” Jae hummed at the feel of Yunho’s teeth raking down over his jaw, finding the softness of his throat and biting into the angel kiss of his birthmark. “How did you get out of the interviews?”
“The same way you did.” Yunho whispered. “I think our manager decided it would be best if we have time alone before we chewed through Changmin to get to one another.”
The singer arched his back when Yunho’s hand strayed down to his ribs, the leader’s short nails raking along the ridges of his bones. Jaejoong’s throat worked around the nonsensical erotic moans crawling up from his belly. Over the past few weeks, Yunho learned to pull dark sensual sounds from his lover’s core, liquid sex made vocal. Each stroke of a finger along stretches of skin leavened the bond between them, Jae’s mouth panting open when Yunho denied his reciprocation.
“Turn over, lover.” Yunho slid his palm under Jaejoong’s back, cupping at the small of his spine and lifting. The cotton fabric of Jae’s pants caught on the ridges of his hipbones as he turned, pulling taut along the rise of his rear. Licking at the intoxicating plump globe, Yunho tongued at a spot on his lover’s hip, moistening the area until it ran translucent over Jae’s skin.
Jaejoong’s back always took Yunho’s breath away. The long expanse of muscles stretched across delicate shoulders, arrowing down to the slender tuck of his hips, caught Yunho’s imagination. He’d stared at the spot between Jae’s shoulder blades during their talks with television personalities and radio dee-jays. Secreted behind layers of clothing, Yunho knew a spot that would make Jaejoong shiver if lips were pressed there and teeth were dragged across that bit of spine. The leader’s palms itched to span over his lover’s backside, running warm fingers over the ridged dimples and soft skin.
Yunho studiously avoided that enticement, concentrating solely on the bare shoulders pressed onto the sea of foam green sheets. Jaejoong’s head was turned away from Yunho, the singer’s eyes closed, lashes fluttering a brushing kiss on his cheekbones. The trust in his body shone under the relaxed looseness of his limbs, Jae’s arms folded under the pillow, hiding the clench of his hands in the loose sheets.
“There should be wings here.” Yunho couldn’t resist bending over, hitching up onto his haunches. Moistening the tip of his tongue in the well of saliva in his mouth, the young man faintly skimmed at the ridge of Jae’s shoulder blades. His breath dried the line of silver paling Jaejoong’s tender skin, chasing a tremble though his vertebrae. “Every time I undress you, I keep expecting there to be just the hint of down and then a splash of feathers erupting to engulf me.”
The light cotton pants hugging Jae’s hips were easily slid free of the young man’s legs, Yunho’s impatience nearly tearing the fabric from Jaejoong’s primed body. Yunho rubbed his cheek on the rise of Jaejoong’s naked backside, his bottom teeth barely digging into the tender flesh. He’d grown too used to having the singer just within reach, a seductive flame under the covers of their shared bed. It hurt to be apart from Jaejoong, the other man’s wild nature exhilarating and exasperating… a ride Yunho sorely missed. Laving at a spot Yunho knew from experience to be ticklish, he finished his brief exploration with a kiss then returned to where he’d left off.
With another kiss, slow and lingering over the dip in the middle of Jae’s back. Yunho spoke, a hushed reverence for the exotic gift under his hands. “And then, I wonder sometimes if when you fell from heaven, you caught your wings on a cloud and they tore… because when I look deep in your eyes, I see a pain that pierces through you and I want to wash it away with kisses.”
“You do.” Jaejoong’s breath whispered sweetly into the pillow. The prone singer felt the ache burrowed deep into his soul, weeping wounds left by harsh words and cutting, stinging blows to his heart. He’d struggled to find his way through the world, stumbling and crying alone in the darkness until Yunho shed the storm battering at his spirit. “Yunnie…”
“Sshhh, baby.” Yunho tasted again, pulling Jae’s silken ebony hair from his neck. The delicate down there begged to be matted down with spit, much like the curve of black strands over Jae’s ear but Yunho left those spaces be, concentrating instead on the pale whiteness of the singer’s lower back.
He’d come prepared, ordering a few things from room service before he knocked on Jae’s door. A small handled bag was easily hid by the door until Jaejoong went into the bathroom, the young singer’s habits nearly predictable upon waking. Yunho retrieved the bag, hoping he’d not waited too long. Dipping his hand down, Yunho slid a zippered plastic bag open, pulling an ice cube free from the melting slush inside.
Yunho held the large chunk over Jae’s back, pressing his hand down on the singer’s rear when the first drop hit, a splash of winter on warm ivory. Hissing in surprise, Jae’s eyes flew open, enormous and shocked at the cold. A murmur of protest was quickly subdued under a hot kiss, Yunho’s tongue stilling Jae’s astonished words. Leaving the ice aloft, Yunho prepared for another small jerk of Jaejoong’s body, a pleased groan rippling from his chest when the singer responded again, pressing hard up against Yunho’s palm.
“Move your knees apart for me.” There was no demand in Yunho’s voice, the barest dusting of a request. Ordering the obstinate young Korean often did nothing more than make Jaejoong dig in his heels, even if it was something he wanted to do. After so many years of fighting and scraping to get what he wanted, Jaejoong often proved to be difficult to coerce, much to the frustration of their management. Usually amiable and tractable, Jae invariably refused to budge on the smallest of things, choosing to exert his independence at the most inopportune times. Aware of his lover’s chaotic nature, Yunho learned to coax Jae along, earning his deep trust. That was key, Yunho discovered… when Jae gave his trust fully, he would do anything for the person he loved. And that faith now rested wholly in Yunho’s hands.
Jaejoong adjusted his body, his eyes closing once more. With his breathing steady, he rested, waiting for Yunho’s mouth and hands to resume their inquisitive journey. More water, ice cold and burning on his tender skin, left Jaejoong chilled before the drops were sucked clean from his body by Yunho’s hot mouth. A frosty edge trailed down on one rear cheek, smeared warm from Yunho’s tracing long tongue. Nearly unable to contain the hardness pressing up on his thigh, Jae shifted to ease the ache, his breath catching hard in his throat with every splash of water.
Watching the chunk of ice slowly melt over his lover’s body, Yunho rubbed at Jae’s scapula, wondering if God knew what He’d tossed down at Yunho’s feet. The sky rarely held enough sunlight in it to compare to Jaejoong, in Yunho’s mind, colours dulled until he’d seen them through his lover’s wondering eyes. A curious blend of naiveté and strength, Jaejoong’s chaos thrilled the leader’s heart, the singer’s brilliant smile touching at the darkest recesses of shadows lurking in Yunho’s soul.
Jaejoong lost his breath in the moment Yunho slid the ice cube between his cheeks, working the cold frozen water into the depths of his body. Nearly rolling free from Yunho’s hands, Jae panted hard, biting down into the pillow to remain still. The cold was nearly unimaginable, working into the nerves of his system and running iced steam into his body. More shocking was Yunho’s tongue licking at the drops pooling down onto his sex, the shaft half hidden by his thigh.
He’d just grown used to the press of oil into him, the slippery feel of Yunho’s fingers and then the rush of being spread apart by his lover’s questing body. The harsh cold of ice inside of him shuddered apart Jaejoong’s control, his lips peeled back around his panting moans. Despite the chill, the heat of his body reacted tightly to the press of the cube on the tenderness inside of him, pulling Jaejoong’s muscles tight and unforgiving when Yunho’s fingertip pressed lightly on the rim.
The familiar click of a gel bottle warmed Jaejoong’s belly, his body responding innately to the slithering of oil down between his clenched buttocks. Letting the lubricant acclimate to Jaejoong’s body, Yunho slid his tongue around the remaining drops of water before the sheets soaked through. His fingers rolled in the gel, warming slightly against the singer’s heat.
“Yunnie… please.” Jaejoong lifted his hips away from the mattress, hands wrapped tightly into the corners of the pillow, his teeth marks dimpling the fine fabric. It had been too long since they’d shared a bed, most of their frantic couplings spent in the shadows of tight backstage alcoves or a quick slide of their hands over each other’s sex, hoping to bring some pleasure to taste on their tongues. Begging, Jaejoong panted hard, unable to keep his hips from rolling up to meet Yunho’s hand.
He’d never grow used to the flash of desire and ache Yunho’s hands brought to his body. Jaejoong was sure he would break apart if he ever did. The callus on Yunho’s index finger always rode on the inside of the muscled ring, feeling out the rosette like a bee sipping on the nectar of a bloom. Easing in, Yunho took his time, marking the desire on Jaejoong’s expressive face. Losing himself in the sheer rush of his tingling nerves, Jae abandoned himself to Yunho’s pleasures.
“Need to touch you…” Jae moaned aloud. Yunho pressed further in, reaching up into his lover’s warmth, past the cold chill of the ice sliver resting inside of Jae’s hot velvet core. The singer’s hands moved away from the pillow, stopping only when Yunho’s inquest stilled, and the leader whispered against the oiled moistness of Jae’s rear.
“Let me do this for you, Joongie.” Yunho said. “I want to watch you want… to watch you desire. There’s nothing more beautiful than to you see spread apart for me… unless it’s you begging for me to be inside of you.”
“There are times, Boo...” Yunho worked another finger into Jae, slowly sliding both tips just past the rim until Jaejoong’s pants grew to near sobs, his chest convulsing with the effort to remain pressed on the bed. “There are times when I just want to bite into you, ripping you open until I have everything of you in my hands. That’s how it is when you’re like this, right now. I feel like I have you…all of you… just at the edge of returning to the stars.”
“You writhe and it’s like the moon weeps under your skin.” Yunho smiled, hearing the soft moaning pleads of Jaejoong’s wantonness peeling back the reserved mask the singer wore. Lying bare underneath Yunho was the true Jaejoong, wild and primal, a sensuality uncontained by the presence of others and shown only to the lover who could coax it free.
“Yunho, I need you. Inside of me.” Jae growled, unable to hold himself in any longer. Each press inside of him made the singer want the heat of his lover plunged deep inside of him. Twisting, Jae bit down on Yunho’s shoulder, purpling the rise of his arm. “Wanting you.”
The other man waited a breath longer until the rising crescendo of Jaejoong’s heart raced a pitched beat along his veins, pushing all other thoughts aside but the want of Yunho’s flesh in him. Kissing at the spread of flesh along Jae’s shoulder blades, Yunho eased the tip of his shaft to the pressing ring between Jae’s cheeks, feeling his lover tense despite the craving inside of him.
“I won’t hurt you, baby.” Yunho whispered. Jaejoong always assured him the press of pain was small compared to the sheer glut of pleasure he experienced but the initial push on Jae’s body and the aching twist of teeth on the singer’s pout brought a hurt to Yunho’s heart. The leader took his time whenever he touched his lover, working Jaejoong into a fevered ardor before falling into Jae’s heat. Still, the stretching of Jae around him warned Yunho to be careful, a tender heed to Jae’s seemingly delicate body.
Yunho eased slowly forward, his hands placed on Jaejoong’s hips. Bending forward, the leader worked his legs around his lover’s, wrapping his arms around Jae’s chest and holding the singer close. Rocking forward, Yunho pressed in, sliding out with a tilt of his hips before pushing back further in, letting the oil slide the passage open for him.
Jaejoong’s eyes closed tight, feeling the bare nerves of his body run brittle from sensation. The edge of his body’s ring pulsed, trying to shove at Yunho’s shaft to force him back out. Reminding himself to relax, Jaejoong pushed outward with his core, welcoming his lover into his warmth. The oil’s slickness eased the progression, Yunho filling him nearly to bursting with his heavy sex.
They lay there, coupled in the waned light of the day, the evening dusk having fallen from the sky’s hands. Not wanting to move, Jaejoong reveled in the feel of Yunho’s weight on his body, the press of muscle and bone against his own. It cost the singer so much to lay his heart into the leader’s hands, hoping that there would be enough of it to be pieced together once Yunho shattered it against the cold, hard unfeeling of his hatred.
Jaejoong still found himself wondering when he would awaken from the dream of having Yunho turn and smile, holding the light of the universe in his eyes when he looked at Jaejoong. After the years of crying until his soul ached and lay flaccid from abuse, it now sang with the sheer joy of another’s touch, dancing through the storms of his life with the assurance that there would always be shelter from the pounding rain of doubt on his soul.
“You are so hot around me." Yunho murmured, tasting small bits of Jae’s skin in little nips…first his neck then his shoulders as the singer rose up from the bed to meet Yunho’s muscled chest. Wrapping his lean arms about Jaejoong, Yunho began to rock into him, never completely withdrawing from his savoury moistness. "This is how we were meant to be… together…for eternity. You have to remember that, Joongie. You have to never forget how this feels."
“I won’t. I can’t.” Jae admitted, nearly sobbing at the pleasure raking up from his body.
Every long strong pass of Yunho’s hardness inside of him rubbed the bundle of nerves hidden there, a tangle of lightning stroked across Jae’s being. Smiling in satisfaction, Yunho crept one hand around Jae’s hips to encircle his sex, working along its length as Jaejoong pulsated around him. Thrusting forward, he let the knob of his flesh work around the small nodule deep within his lover’s body, hitting the pressure point with each fervent plunge.
Yunho ran his other hand along Jae’s heated torso, feeling each ridge of his ribs carefully before reaching up to pluck at the ripeness of Jae’s nipples. The tips of Yunho’s fingers expertly found the turgid rose tips that peaked Jae’s lean chest, their need aching tightly into nubs. Stretching upwards, Yunho ran the tip of his tongue along the down of his lover’s exposed neck, tasting the salty spice of his body in the back of his throat as he laved at Jae. A soft moan broke through the sounds of the night outside, skittering crickets singing the night to ripeness as Yunho’s hands began to move once more, traveling downwards until he held Jae’s hips tight, his torso moving hard as he pounded at the centre of Jae’s passion.
Yunho held himself slowly as he worked further into Jae, feeling each ripple of flesh give way beneath his movements and the soft mewling noises in Jaejoong’s throat urging him forward. The sweetness of his lover against and around him gave Yunho strength as Jae pressed up, placing his hands the bed to lift his abdomen and started to rock his hips. The softness of Jae’s rear resting against the hollow of Yunho’s hips made the leader smile and his fingers ran along the length of his lover’s thighs, finding the erotic points Jae’s lower back before working once more through the curls at his loins, stoking at the hard sex there.
Thrusting his hips up, Yunho met every one of Jae’s lunges, reveling in the ardor on his flushed face and running his kisses between Jae’s shoulder blades when the singer leaned forward. His teeth pulled on the winged edges, drawing the flesh up from the bone and further into Yunho’s mouth. Nipping and sucking, he felt Jae’s spasms begin once more and Yunho closed his arousal-darkened eyes as his own released ripped from him.
Feeling his seed gush into Jae’s tight velvet, Yunho entangled his fingers with Jae’s, wrapping them tight into each other as their bodies gave way to their pleasure, the heat between them growing as the moonlight broke through the shadowed canopy.
Running silver over golden flesh, Jaejoong savoured the panting of his lover against his body and his own wetness still around Yunho as they lay holding each other close. Laying a soft kiss on Jae’s lean shoulder, Yunho ran his lips up over his neck before turning Jaejoong’s head to capturing his mouth once more. Driving his tongue deep past Jae’s teeth, Yunho forced his lover to give the leader his soul, holding him tightly until Jae released himself again, pulled over the edge of his release solely from the small twistings of Yunho’s hips and the seductive passion of his mouth on Jae’s swollen lips.
“I wish I could tell you how much I love you, Joongie-ah.” Yunho slid free of his lover’s body, pulling Jae in close. They rolled in the scent of their sex, heady musk spiced bitter by the secretiveness of their love. “I don’t think that word’s been invented yet, Boo.”
“You’re silly sometimes, Yunnie.” Jaejoong sighed, turning to rest his back on his lover’s chest. Yunho’s arms folded about him, one hand resting on Jae’s flat stomach. They could see the world turning outside of the hotel room window, hidden by the sheer curtains. Below, the landscape shone in lace beads of lights, strung along silvery threads of traffic and buildings turned diamond under the rising moon.
“I regret that you lost your family because of me…” Jaejoong’s words were cut off by Yunho’s hard kiss, the leader finding the edge of Jae’s mouth with his own.
“None of that, Jaejoong.” Yunho held Jae’s chin, nibbling at his lover’s jaw before returning to the softness of Jaejoong’s earlobe, worrying at the small metal ring running cold through Jae’s warm flesh. “I have no regrets over losing something that wasn’t real. My parents are the ones who have to learn how to love. You’ve given me that. You taught me how to love, Boo. I love you. Believe me in that.”
“I know, Yunnie. I believe you.” Jae said, soft and tender in his lover’s embrace. “I love you too and I will always be here for you.”
“Jaejoong, I promise you…” Yunho kissed the back of his lover’s head, finding Jae’s fingers and holding his hand tightly. Pressing their joined hands over Jae’s heart, Yunho whispered love into Jaejoong’s soul. “I promise you that one day, the whole world will know that we are meant for one another. Not just the shadows that are chased out by the day but every single face that turns to bask in your beauty will see the happiness I see in you when you smile at me. And God, you break me apart with that smile, it hurts to be so loved.”
Jaejoong tossed aside the last of his doubts, his will tempered strong under the fire of Yunho’s convictions. “I can wait for that day forever, as long as I find you in the shadows, waiting for me.”
“You can trust me for that, baby.” His heart burst open under the touch of Jae’s love, unconditional and generous, a faith untouched by censure. Yunho ached at the thought of a day when the air no longer tasted of Jae’s kisses, their lives leeched white from age. The leader was determined to hold the other’s soul in his heart until they burned in the sky as one, starlight fending off the darkness in an eternal dance.
Yunho suckled on Jae’s earlobe, tasting at the earring they often shared between them. Jae’s hand rose, cupping the back of Yunho’s head, capturing his lover’s kiss against the stained glass of his healing soul. Sated, Yunho breathed a whispered vow, his words spilling over the cracks of Jaejoong’s shattered self.
“I will always love you, Jaejoong.” Yunho promised. “However you will have me. We are forever. Until the stars are burnt black, we will be one.”