Title: On The Red Couch ♥
Pairing: YunJae (with some YooSu and Min7en)
Chapter Rating: R
Part One: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Se7en, 8, 9, 10, 11
Part Two: 12, 13 (Extremely Mature Content), 14, 15, 16, Comments Regarding Storyline , Se7enteen, 18, 19, 20, 21 (Lemon)
Part Three: 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, Twenty-Se7en (LEMON), 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 (LEMON), 33, 34, 35, 36, Thirty-Se7en, 38, 39, 40 (Final)
Summary: Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section. Final Book in SMM series.
Home was a welcome sanctuary, especially when Jaejoong eased himself onto their soft bed. Stripped down to his boxers by a worried Yunho, he let himself be stretched out onto the sheets, trying to keep his face placid when the other man jostled his swollen knee. Min busying himself with bringing in an ice wrap caught the grimace on Jaejoong’s face and ratted him out. After a few minutes of arguing, Jae finally convinced them that an ice pack on the elevated injured joint and more aspirin would be welcome.
Especially since his other option was to have someone poke at it with needles to ask him if it hurt.
Happily carting away the leftovers from the restaurant, Min left the older members alone, retiring to the living area to watch a Japanese drama. Yunho returned to the bedroom with a carafe of weak genmaicha tea, setting on the end table.
Filling a glass, he handed Jaejoong a white scored tablet. “Here, Shizu-chan says that you should take this. It’s an anti-inflammatory. It’ll bring down the swelling. He says if it’s not better in an hour, I’m to call him.”
“Aish, I don’t want to go to the doctor’s,” Jae sniffed at the tablet then popped it into his mouth, swallowing it with a gulp of watery tea.
“Then rest your knee,” Yunho said, helping himself to a glass of tea before joining Jaejoong on the bed. Sidling up against his lover, he stretched out next to the lanky singer. He motioned for Jae to lean forward then tucked his arm behind his lover. “I’m calling Shizu in an hour, regardless of what you say. Just so you know.”
“Fine,” Jae grumbled, sipping at his tea. “But I feel better.”
“You lie.” Scoffing, Yunho leaned against the headboard. “But it’s okay. I’m used to it.”
The punch to his thigh didn’t hurt as much as he’d expected it to but Yunho winced so Jaejoong didn’t feel slighted. Listening to his lover grumble under his breath, he quirked a smile when the singer shifted and made himself comfortable in the curve of his arm.
“I want to talk to you about your father,” Jae said softly.
“What about him?” He wanted to avoid the subject but Jaejoong was worse than a terrier once he got a hold of something. Jaejoong had been right when he said it would be easier to agree with him than argue. He eventually always lost. Or paid for winning. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Family,” The young man responded, moving the ice pack around his knee until it wrapped over the sorest point. “We need to talk about… family”
“I… shit,” Yunho swore. Pursing his mouth, he looked away, sour and bitter. Unease brewed under his skin, bubbling up and searing. “I’m angry, Jaejoong. And I’m tired of being hurt. I’m sick of trying to gain his approval and for what? Nothing. Nothing I achieve, no matter how great is going to be good enough for him. Nothing.”
“I know,” Jae placed his hand on Yunho’s thigh, looking up at the man’s hardened face. “But he’s your father.”
“What? Because he’s my father, I should let him beat me down?” He gritted his teeth, trying to keep the heat of his temper from his words but it was hard. He risked everything he’d gained in his short life for the man sitting next to him… even losing the man he admired all of his life because of his love for Jaejoong.
Swallowing his bitter, Yunho washed the taste of his father’s hatred down with a mouthful of tea. “I’m sorry. It’s just difficult. I am so angry at him. He’s destroyed everything…everyone. I thought we were done with him when he made me… when he separated me from the rest of the family.”
“When he made you choose me over your mother,” Jaejoong whispered, dropping his voice down.
Yunho’s decision haunted him. The shame in Yunho’s voice was hidden behind his anger but the young man heard the hurt there. There was too much pain to be hidden by a few shrugs and mumbled apologies. His lover missed the woman who quietly supported him from afar. Even the letters were a comfort, folded sheets of love and paper read and reread. Jaejoong knew where Yunho kept them, tucked inside an old book given to him by his grandmother.
The threads of family ran deep and strong in the man. Jaejoong felt them tug every time Yunho spoke of his father, even when his words were laced with cold anger, the connection was there.
“When I chose you,” Yunho agreed. “But I don’t regret that decision. I’ll never regret that, Joongie-ah. Never.”
“I hate it,” Jae said. He swallowed, unsure if he should speak his heart but Yunho’s anguish grew with each passing day until it festered in his heart. If he did nothing, he felt the other man would eventually learn to hate the decision he made. Plunging forward, he gave in to his heart, scraping his fears back to reach out to his lover. “I hate that you are… that you’ve turned your back on family for me. I don’t think… I don’t think it’s the right way of things, Yunnie-ah.”
“You’d rather I’d have chosen my mother?” Yunho swallowed, incredulous at what he was hearing. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“I would gladly give up eternity for you, if you…” Jaejoong pressed his hands against his face, biting his cheek when Yunho pulled his arm out from behind him. “I don’t want to give you up, Yunnie-ah. Never. But if you turn away from your family, you’ll regret it all of your life. All of my life. Every time you look at me, you will see the life that you’ve turned from and you’ll hurt. You’ll wonder about what should have been your life instead of what it is… with me. I can’t live knowing that I’ve taken that from you. I’d rather treasure the days I’ve had with you than you rue the ones to come.”
“I can’t listen to you when you talk like this,” Yunho snapped, pushing himself off the bed. He paced to the door, his hand closing over the knob but the door remained closed. He lay his forehead on the wooden panel.
Jaejoong held his breath, waiting for Yunho to walk out of the room… and possibly out of his life.
“I… know I have to stay. I know I should listen to you,” Yunho said, his voice broken and rough. “I’ve given you everything, Jaejoong. And now… now you tell me I shouldn’t have bothered?”
“I’m saying that I love you,” He tried to get up, hampered by the swelling on his knee.
Unable to bend, he slid, trying to scoot around the bed and touch the man at the door. The rustle on the sheet pulled Yunho from his misery, his eyes wet with tears. “Don’t get up, Joongie. I swear to God, if I have to tie you to that bed, I will.”
“Listen to me,” Jae pleaded. “Please. Stay and listen.”
“I can’t. It hurts too much,” Yunho replied but as he walked around the bed, he half-pulled Jaejoong back against the headboard, settling pillows to support the other man’s back.
They moved, against one another until their arms lay around each other’s waist. Sorrow drew them closer, binding with a ribbon drawn from one heart to the next. As try as he might, Yunho fought his tears, refusing to let his anger draw any more of his spirit from him but when Jaejoong’s head fit tightly into the crook of his neck, the first drop fell.
Then, his grief poured a storm on his lover’s shoulders.
Jae held Yunho as he cried, awkwardly crooked as his body refused to bend but the broken-hearted young man curled down, sliding into the spaces along Jae’s chest and hips until they were close. The sobs tore through Yunho, breaking his breaths into short panting gasps. The bitter dregs of his pain rose, percolating to his throat and he fought them, swallowing the torn sounds as Jaejoong stroked his back and side. His tongue rasped with a sour taste from his stomach, the struggle to contain his cries churning his guts.
“Let it out, Yunnie-ah,” Jaejoong pleaded. “Please, baby. You’re going to make yourself sick holding it in.”
Yunho clenched his fists, wanting to strike something...to hit something so it was in as much pain as he was in but the only person around was Jaejoong. He’d die before hitting his lover ever again. His tears were hot, burning as they fell from his clenched eyes. When he blinked to clear his lashes, he could see them splattering Jaejoong’s shoulders, soaking through his t-shirt with constellations of wet stars.
Tight with pain, his chest ached with every breath he took. Then Jae’s mouth covered his and the pain flowered, blooming into his lover’s kiss then withered into dust under the brightness of Jae’s soul.
He licked at the seam along Jae’s lips, pressing the tip of his tongue against the bow of his lover’s succulent mouth. Jae surrendered, opening for Yunho’s intrusion. They took their time, slowly exploring one another as if it were something new between them. Yunho’s tears spiced their skin, salted pain washing away under Jae’s sweetness. There was a tinge of green tea on Jae’s tongue, one of Yunho’s favourite flavours and he lapped at the mingled pungencies, reveling in the woodsy tang.
Leaving a brush of a kiss on Yunho’s lips, Jaejoong stroked his lover’s face, tracing the scar under his eye. “It’s okay to cry, baby. Even if you only cry here, it’s okay to cry.”
“My father thinks crying is weak,” Yunho laughed. “And here I am always telling you’re strong for crying but I still… I still do what my father thinks is… manly.”
“We all want our parents to be proud of us,” Jae murmured, “I think it’s okay to want that.”
“Turn off the light, Joongie-ah,” Yunho whispered into Jae’s chest. “I think I want it dark.”
Twisting, Jae flicked off the lamp, plunging the room into shadow. A few moments passed and their vision acclimated to the diffuse glow. A faint light came from outside, washing them in a mingle of blue and white touched with the amber of a rain-dimmed street lamp.
They lay in the sounds of the rain, ankles tangled and knees touching. Yunho’s fingers traced back and forth over Jae’s hip, rounding the bone in slow circles. Jae rested his head on the pillow, inhaling his lover’s scent and still tasting Yunho’s tears on his tongue. Moving towards one another, they inched and shifted closer until they once again matched curves with dips, touching skin and clothes in a nearly seamless line.
“I miss my father,” Yunho said finally, keeping his voice low as if speaking too loud would bring the world down on them. In a losing battle with his own anger, he sighed, unburdening his heart to his lover. “I miss having him to call when I feel lost. There have been times… when I wanted to call him just to hear him tell me that he raised a man, not a child and that I knew what to do but I just needed to do it.”
“Have you told him that?” Jae asked, his words a soft feather touch on Yunho’s anguish.
“No, I haven’t really talked to him since… that night at the hotel when I walked away from him… from my parents,” He admitted. “I expected my mother to… at least talk to me that night but it took longer to talk to her. Much longer. Now, I feel like too much time has passed and I… we… can’t go back to how things were.”
“Things are never going to be … how they were,” The singer said. “Even if you… even when you turn away from me, it will always linger there between you and your father.”
“I am not going to turn away from you, Jaejoong,” Yunho said, kissing the tip of Jae’s butterfly pout. “You know that.”
“At some point, Yunnie-ah, you’re going to want children,” Jae replied. “I can’t give them to you so, like Scarlet-nuna, I will be your lover but I can’t be your family. You come from a good name with a strong lineage. You need to continue that.”
“You are your father’s only son,” He continued to whisper. “He’s not just looking at himself. He’s looking at his parents and your children when he says that he wants you to be… a man. You’re needed to continue your family and its blood line. We might not agree with the things that your father has done but he’s done them with you in mind.”
“I am not going to push you aside, Jaejoong,” He insisted. The thought of tucking Jae away into the shadows hurt, nearly as much as the other singer telling him he would find a woman to marry. “There are other ways to have children. I don’t need to marry a woman to have her carry our children.”
“They won’t be our children, Yunho, not in your father’s eyes. Our society doesn’t accept that.” Jae held Yunho’s hand against his hip, pressing the flat of his palm over the man’s knuckles. “I would love them to be and I will love them as mine but they won’t be ours. They can’t be ours. More than likely they’ll carry your name and they’ll look to you for guidance. Me? They will probably look to for spoiling and food.”
“And what about you? You are the only son in your family,” Yunho replied. “Are you saying that you’ll be doing the same? Looking for a woman to have children with and then stealing time to be with me.”
“I don’t know. Probably not,” Jae shrugged. “I’m not… important to my family or any name. I try to reach them but my father… neither father… want out to me. I have my mother… my mothers… and a few of my sisters but I am their son, not the son of a father. The Kim… he threw me out before I became a trainee and my… mother’s husband, he only contacted me to secure money and once he found out that I didn’t have any, I never heard from him again. At least your father tries, Yunho. He tries very hard to pull you back into the family. If he isn’t doing it for love, then he is at least doing it out of obligation.”
“I don’t want to be loved out of obligation,” Yunho spat.
“No, no one does,” He agreed. “But when your father dies, you will be the head of your family. And then, you will be the one making the rules and traditions for your bloodline. You will be in the position to change things for your family. So the next time a Jung comes to say that he loves a man, he will see your face and hear your voice and not your father’s.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” The man cupped Jaejoong’s face, feeling the bone and skin on his fingers. “I don’t ever want to lose you. Not for my father. Not for my son.”
“You won’t,” Jae reassured him with a kiss, whispering his love with the brush of his lips. “We are going to have to love one another in ways that we can. Right now, we are together and that’s all that matters. We’ll deal with the future when it becomes the present.”
“I am telling you, Jaejoong,” Yunho stressed, hearing his voice break again. “I will not give you up for a life my father wants me to have. I refuse to. He will have to accept you in his life… as my lover. As my partner.”
“Then offer your father a compromise,” Jaejoong said. “I think he’s scared that you won’t give him… continuance. That by being with me, you won’t be giving him children he can spoil when he’s old. He needs to know that the name Jung will go on when he’s gone, like he promised his father it would. We’re Korean, Yunho. Our lives aren’t our own. They never were. Everything we do is for our parents and those around us.”
“Everything I do is driven by my love for you.”
“Same here,” Jae grinned, touching the swell on his knee. “And sometimes, thinking that way cripples us.”
“Oh I could beat you for not saying anything,” Yunho growled. “You have to tell me when you’re hurt instead of following me blindly.”
“Well then, Jung Yunho, I am telling you that you are hurting right now,” Jae gave his lover a sweet, gentle smile. “And you are following me blindly. Call your father. Repair the break in your heart and soul. Speak with him about your family and what you’re willing to do to bring them back in your life.”
“Do you honestly think he’d listen to me?” Yunho scoffed. “He’s not before.”
“You’ve not spoken to him before,” Jae pointed out. “Not as a man, only as a son. Show him that you are strong enough to lead the Jung family and still be someone I love. Go to him as an equal. That’s all you can do, Yunnie-ah but you’ll be doing it for your mother and sister… and for you as well.”