Title: Coffee & Regrets ♥
Chapter: Thirteen [R]
Overall Fic Rating: NC-17
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Summary: A pair of lovers, worn and faded by time, hope to recapture what they once had… or walk away after bittersweet goodbyes.
There was no room for air between them. Min’s mouth was on Se7en’s, drinking in the older man’s taste. Their tongues battled, a small wet war of passion and need. Se7en’s moan was rough, a crooning sound that tickled the back of Changmin’s throat as he pushed himself forward. The rug was thick beneath his knees, coarse to the touch when he used his fingers to balance.
Min didn’t want to break contact, not after tumbling down to his knees and catching Se7en’s face up in his hands. He thought he would beg for any shred of forgiveness his former lover might give him but when he caught the older man’s clove-infused scent, he took what he wanted… what he needed.
Se7en’s kisses were a rainstorm on the parched desert of his soul.
It was madness to continue but Changmin refused to break away. He needed this… he needed this man to hold him. He needed this man to keep him in his life.
When they broke for air, sobbing and gasping, Changmin tangled his fingers into Se7en’s hair. The older man reached down, hooking his hands around Min’s thighs and pulled him forward, splaying the young singer out on the bed. Covering Changmin’s body, Se7en straddled the younger man, his knees landing on either side of Min’s legs.
“I love you, Shichi,” Min whispered as Se7en’s mouth descended on his. “I’ve always loved you.”
It was too hot between their bodies, too much fabric keeping their skin apart. Se7en tasted of his tears, silvery salt framing his wide, lush mouth. Min licked the man’s lower lip, washing away the man’s sorrow with each swipe of his tongue. He swallowed, taking the tears into his belly.
“If I could take away your sadness,” Min whispered. “I would. I would die if you needed me to. Just please, don’t turn me away, baby. Please, don’t turn me away.”
“I can’t,” Se7en threaded his fingers through Min’s hair, cradling the man’s skull in his palm. He stared into Changmin’s face as if the young man’s beauty held the wonders of the universe. For the older singer, Min became his focus, an ivory and silk warmth he could hold in his hands. “I couldn’t let you go. Even when you…”
“Don’t,” Min said, touching his fingertips to Se7en’s lips. “Please, don’t say…”
Se7en kissed Min’s fingers. “I made mistakes too. Even when…we… turned away from each other…”
“…You still loved me,” Changmin breathed.
“We’re idiots, you know,” The older singer stroked Min’s cheek, settling his weight on his elbows and knees. His feet dangled off the mattress, as bare as his heart. “You made me fall in love with you…made me want forever with someone who understood me…with someone who understood my dreams. I don’t know what I did to lose you.”
Gripping the linens, Se7en’s head dropped, his forehead resting on Min’s collarbone. “I wanted to die because I lost you.”
“You didn’t lose me, baby,” Changmin said, rubbing his cheek against Se7en’s hair. “I lost me.”
Pulling Se7en down, Changmin wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist. He snuggled in close, needing more than the feel of the man on him. He needed Se7en to fill him, to stretch his heart out until it burst. The parts of his body not touching Se7en were too cold —- too far away from the man’s hands. The parts that were close itched, needed more.
I could wait, Min decided, losing his breath under another of Se7en’s punishingly sweet kisses. I can wait for more… at least until we talk.
“Or if you can stand to listen to me,” Min murmured out loud.
“God, I’ve missed that.” Se7en laughed, tossing his head back and snorted, inhaling a sharp gasp of air. Nipping the end of Min’s nose, he laughed harder as a red flush crept over the younger man’s cheeks. “I’ve missed you talking to yourself. How are your inner demons?”
“The main one is going to move out.” Changmin ducked his head, wanting to crawl under the covers. “I think he’s unhappy with my life choices. I can’t blame him. I’ve not been happy with them either.”
“You’ve made better,” The singer conceded. “I have to ask you one thing, Minku…”
“Anything,” Min whispered, sidling back into Se7en’s tight embrace.
“Am I going to be one of your life choices?” He asked, his eyes closed against the pain that could drown him. “This… between us… is this worth anything to you? Now? Or when you slide out of my arms, is this going to be the last time I hold you?”
The apartment door loomed in front of Ji. A small lit button glowed in the frame and when he pressed it, he couldn’t hear the bell ring inside but a few seconds later, the door opened and the man Ji lusted for stood in front of him.
His hair was light again, a caramel brown with darker streaks underneath. Wispy bangs hung down over the front of his face, the shadows of the hallway turning his deep brown eyes nearly black. His mouth was somber but Ji knew a smile could transform the man’s icy features to a delightful beauty.
Damn, I wish I could make him smile, Ji thought. When the man turned and Ji caught a good look of his tight ass and long legs in the torn jeans he wore, he swallowed hard. Forget smile. I want to make him moan.
“How can I help you out?” The man’s voice was soft, a silken blanket covering Ji’s agitated nerves. “And what happened to your face?”
“I ran into a pole,” Ji offered up as an excuse. “I hit it harder than I thought because it really hurts. I was hoping you had some aspirin or something.”
“Follow me,” He said. His legs were long, carrying him quickly down the front hall and into the main living room. Clean lines and honey wood floors were a nice frame for the man’s lean body and Ji smiled when he spotted the draperies covering the length of the far glass wall.
They’re nice. Different from the inside. Ji thought. Brighter than I thought.
The honey oak floors extended into the hall and into the bathroom. A thick black rug covered most of the bathroom floor, picking up the dark flecks in the cream padedon counters. Patting the stone, the man rifled through an inset cabinet on the wall.
“What?” Ji asked, staring at the man’s ass as he bent forward to look deeper in the shelves.
“Sit,” He said. “Let me take a look at that.”
“I just hit a tree.”
“It was a pole a minute ago,” The man said, his voice muffled in the interior of the cabinet. “And unless trees or poles started wearing rings, then I’m guessing from the shape of the bruise under your eye, that someone punched you.”
“You’re too smart for your own good,” Ji said. He hitched himself up onto the counter, welcoming the stone’s cold touch. The chill helped his arousal go down, something he welcomed now that he sat with his crotch in plain view of the older man.
He closed the cabinet door with his foot, his hands full of antiseptics and cotton swabs. Uncapping a brown bottle and soaking a gauze square, the smile Ji wished for bloomed when the younger man recoiled at the wet daub.
“It’s not going to hurt,” He said, holding Ji’s chin gently in one hand and gently dabbing at the cuts on Ji’s face. “It’s just peroxide. I’m going to try to get this cleaned up then put a plaster on it. We’ll get some anti-inflammatory pills in you but you might want to stay the night. They’re strong and could upset your stomach.”
“You just don’t want to let me out of your sight.” Ji teased.
“Maybe,” The other man laughed, wiping the area dry and applying a plaster. Brushing his mouth over the covered wound, the scent of his cologne and the mint on his breath made Ji swoon. “There. A kiss to make it better. If it starts to hurt, I can give you another.”
“Pill?” Ji stammered, struggling to keep his breathing even.
“You’re only allowed two pills every six hours,” The man said, shaking out a dosage into Ji’s hand. “But if the kiss made you feel better, I’ll give you as many as you need.”
“I was stupid…” Min said. He inhaled the scent of Se7en’s skin, the older man’s throat well within reach of Min’s mouth. It was agony not to kiss the velvety temptation in front of him. A moment later, he surrendered to his lust, leaving a wet imprint of his lips on Se7en’s neck. “I don’t know how to say… I’m sorry. I don’t know how to tell you that I can be trusted with your heart again. Hell, I don’t trust me with your heart.”
Being in Se7en’s arms felt good and Min wondered what insanity he’d let take over him to give it up. He felt the other man sigh, chest moving against his and the older singer shifted, wrapping his legs around Min’s. They lay there, quiet and lost in their own thoughts before Se7en spoke.
“We have two ways we can do this,” The older man said. “We can go over what happened until we are sick of talking or we can go forward and build on what we have left between us.”
“Is there enough?” Min asked. “Is there enough to build on?”
“There’s more than what we started with,” Se7en pointed out. “When we first met, neither one of us knew what love was. Now, we know how to love each other. We have loved each other…and ”
“We still love each other,” Changmin finished.
“So yeah, my Minku, I think…no, I know we do,” Se7en said. “So I think there’s enough to build on…if you do.”
“I do. I want… to.” Min whispered. “I want you to have faith in me…to trust me even if I don’t trust me.”
“I do trust you. I have faith in you, Changmin.” The kiss on Min’s mouth was gentle but he felt it reverberate down into his shattered soul. “I will always have faith in you. Just like I will always love you.”
“Then yes, go forward” He said, stretching up to capture his lover’s kiss. “It hurts too much to live without you, Shichi. I don’t want to imagine an eternity of pain and if I lose you, I know that’s what’s waiting for me.”