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THIS IS TOTALLY AU FROM SMM. 100% off SMM. Not in any way related to So Much Mine, Lavender Bunny or anything else.

I give my darling ree a pressie.... angsty yoosu. Assume adult material. don't ask. i don't know. really, i have no idea why i'm doing this. i'm not posting every day. i might post every once in a while on this. this is crossposted to bardou because i have custody of her LJ while she's on hiatus.

This probably will be some hardcore NC-17 or hell, maybe fluffy. I dunno.

PLEASE REMEMBER: I WON'T BE POSTING EVERY DAY. I'll be back to the SMM universe when I'm done with the other project. I'm doing this to stretch my brain.

Junsu stood at the door, leaning on the frame. His body was damp, beaded with drops of water from the shower and the wet towel around his waist hung low, outlining the length of his sex under the nearly transparent terrycloth. His bed was occupied, the long lean body of Yoochun’s best friend curled up on a pillow and Junsu’s heart broke when he saw the dark purple hickey marking Jae’s pale neck. Yunho was in Korea — had been for months — and the only person Jaejoong spent time with was Yoochun, the man lying naked next to him.

His eyes burned and the watery film along his lashes turned to hot tears when he blinked.

They fell, hitting his naked chest and warmed the cold water drops lying on his golden skin. With the raging fire burning in his heart, he half expected to see steam to rise.

If he looked closer — if he tortured himself more — he would see the swollen blush of Yoochun’s sensual mouth and the tiny indentation of teeth on his lower lip. Jaejoong liked to bite, Chun would laugh sometimes, rubbing at the marks when he saw them in the mirror.

There were times when Junsu wanted to pick up something heavy and smash the mirror to glass ribbons so Yoochun couldn’t see Jae on his own mouth.

And there were times when Junsu longed to grab Yoochun and erase any reminder of Jaejoong from Yoochun’s lips with a bites of his own.

I try so hard, Junsu thought as he left the room, stumbling to the living area of the apartment they all shared. He didn’t think he could stand the anguish of lying in Jaejoong’s bed, breathing in the older man’s erotic scent while Yoochun lay in the singer’s arms. Why doesn’t he love me? Why doesn’t he touch me like he does Jaejoong?

“Why does Yoochun go to him when I am all he needs?” He whispered, muffling his sobs with the heel of his hand pushed into his mouth.

He couldn’t tell when he’d fallen in love with the tender-hearted romantic. One day they were friends and then in a second, it seemed that Yoochun’s casual touch burned away Junsu’s reserves, leaving only the ashes of a wall he’d built around his heart.

There was to be no one but his music, no one in his life but his family, Junsu swore. He would have friends, but that was the strongest connection he would have. His brother would be his ultimate love, the one man he shared everything with and would never hurt him. Their relationship — the brotherly bond they forged in their mother’s womb — would carry him through life. He would not need someone else in his heart.

He certainly didn’t need anyone’s body. Lust and sex never touched him. He could pass by the prettiest woman in the world and feel nothing. There was a void in his being, something broken inside of him that wanted for nothing from anyone; not even the touch of another’s mouth on his own. The stirrings of passion other men spoke about never rose and his heart lay flat and inert in his chest.

Until the day it skipped when Yoochun smiled at him.

Then Junsu knew he would be lost forever.

The ache started slow, creeping further and further outwards until it filled his entire body. It possessed him, arcing up to a delirious ecstasy when their voices blended onstage. It was bliss, the joining of their song and Junsu couldn’t imagine anything purer than Yoochun’s voice winding around his, supporting him, thrusting in and out of the spaces he left for the other’s powerful rumble.

Yoochun left him breathless when they were standing near one another.

And broken when Jaejoong stepped in between them.

Finding a pair of cotton drawstring pants in the folded clothes he’d brought in from the laundry room. Sliding them on, he carded his fingers through his hair and stepped outside onto the tiny balcony of their Tokyo apartment. Nearly thirty floors up, he looked out over the city, still amazed at its sheer breadth and the skyscrapers towering over him despite the height of their building.

“This is why I never wanted to love,” Junsu murmured. “It’s not just my heart that he tears into pieces. It’s my soul. How much more can I take of this? How much more pain do I have to hold inside of me until I finally break apart and have nothing more to give him? How much longer do I have to suffer being in love with a man who doesn’t even see me as anything more than a friend?”

Forever, his heart whispered, There will never be anyone else in your soul, no one else that you want in your body more than Park Yoochun. He pours himself into you, filling in the places where you are empty. There can only be a forever in loving Yoochun or there will be nothing left to live for.

Arms wrapped around him from behind, a tight familiar embrace Junsu couldn’t help but lean into. Yoochun.

He smelled of spice and green tea and Junsu inhaled deeply, drawing the other man into his being.

Junsu found aches in his body he never knew he had.

And hollows that begged to be filled.

The sensations frightened him. They overwhelmed his hard-won control and his infamous focus. His world shattered with the brush of Yoochun’s fingers on his bare stomach, the other man’s nails scratching lightly across his abdominal muscles. His skin twitched then tingled, needing more — an unsure more — as Junsu swallowed hard to prevent his whimper from escaping his mouth.

He tasted blood and wondered if his soul was bleeding with the want of the man cupping him close.

Can I bleed slowly to death? Junsu pleaded with the heavens. Can I crawl on glass until I shred my skin and my bones are broken apart? Wouldn’t that be easier and less painful than dying inch by inch from the sear of Yoochun’s body on mine?

“You’re cold, Susu baby,” The baritone whispered into Junsu’s ear.

Yoochun’s breath was hot, tickling the curve of Junsu’s neck. A shiver shook him, starting a tremble up from his guts and sinking into his marrow. Junsu closed his eyes, hating himself for the dryness in his mouth and the longing to have Yoochun’s tongue brush along his mouth. His body clenched when Yoochun’s palm pressed on the skin below his navel, his long fingers tangling in Junsu’s drawstrings. Yoochun was still naked, lean, strong and fitting into the curve of Junsu’s ripe body.

“What are you doing out here?” Chun rested his chin on Junsu’s bare shoulder. His cheek touched the singer’s and Junsu instinctively turned, rubbing himself against Yoochun, working the other man’s scent into his heated skin. “I woke up and you weren’t in bed.”

“I…” He couldn’t think of a lie. Nothing made sense any more. His mind was too clouded with from the hot fog of Yoochun’s touch and when Junsu skimmed his palms over the man’s arms, he felt Yoochun shiver and tremble under his hands. “I just wanted some air and to look at the city.”

“It’s pretty here,” Yoochun said. He tilted his chin up, staring up at the deep blue-black sky. “Tokyo is so big. There’s so much light that the night can’t even turn black. I’ve only seen the stars near the river. You should come with us sometime.”

“Us?” Junsu knew who Yoochun meant. Jaejoong liked rivers, especially long dark ribbons of water where he could watch the clouds reflecting the moonlight. “I don’t know. It’s been a long time since we’ve done something together — alone.”

“There are a lot of things we can do… alone,” Yoochun murmured, rocking Junsu against him for a moment. Stepping back, he pressed his mouth against the other man’s throat then let Junsu go. “Come to bed. You need to sleep, baby and I have a hard time sleeping without hearing you next to me.”

Junsu swallowed, closing his eyes as Yoochun walked away. Something had changed. Something inside of him broke open and a darkness rose, a deep violet-tinged lust he couldn’t shove back inside of its box. He’d felt the stirrings of Yoochun’s sex against the cleft of his ass when the other man stood against him, the long heft growing thicker as they spoke until it practically burned through the thin cotton of Junsu’s pants.

Running his hand behind him, Junsu’s fingers stroked the damp spot on the rise of his ass and he shook uncontrollably when he brought his fingertips to his mouth. The moisture was too sparse to be wet but his fingers ghosted with the inexplicable odor of Yoochun’s lust; a musky sweetness he’d only dreamed about. Sliding his index finger into his mouth, Junsu suckled Yoochun from his own skin, wishing he was brave enough to crawl into bed with Yoochun and engulf the man deep into his throat.

“God,” Junsu shuddered. “What have I done to deserve this? Why have you forsaken me? Is it because I want him? Because I need him? Is that what this is?”

He stumbled into the living room, blinded by the lust clouding his heart. Finding his cell phone, Junsu sat on the couch and hit a speed dial button. Choking on his words, he took a breath when Yunho answered, grunting into the phone in a half-sleepy voice.

“Hyung,” Junsu bit back his cries but the heart-wrenching sob he’d held in too long spilled out and Yunho’s querulous entreaty only brought more pain.

“Junsu-ah,” The older man whispered. “Don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

“I need you, Yunnie-ah,” His voice broke as he spoke. “I need you to come and seduce Jaejoong. I need you to take him back into your bed so I can have Yoochun. Please, Yunho. If ever you were my brother, do this for me now.”



( 84 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 10th, 2010 07:47 pm (UTC)
T_T poor Su :/
Are him and Chun a couple? Or are Jae and Chun a couple?
I ish confused >.>
I just hope things won't go bad for Su if JaeChun find out he tried to split them :/
I've been waiting for a new fic from u bb :D and yey~ hehe ^^
Love this already ^^
Aug. 10th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
ah, you'll see. i promise. this is just something to keep my brain a bit flexible. :::hugs:;: nothing SMM related at all.

Aug. 10th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC)
*spots* :D
Anything from you is great, hun!^^♥
(can you believe that I still haven't drawn the pictures for your campire-book? TT___TT)
Aug. 10th, 2010 08:27 pm (UTC)
:::grins::: smooches you.

ah, this will maybe be darker? dunno yet. :D
(no subject) - kohaku_chuu - Aug. 10th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kohaku_chuu - Aug. 10th, 2010 09:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wedspawn - Aug. 10th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 10th, 2010 09:53 pm (UTC)
You're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥

Will there be some fluffiness after the angst?
Poor Su bb. And Chun sounds so sensual in the whole dialogue. mmmmm.... I like that ;)

on a different note, I managed to download all your stories onto my eReader, so now I can read them anywhere at any time :D
Aug. 10th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC)
smooches and hugs. ah, i'm sorta back. not fully. more like using this to stretch out my brain. will there be fluffiness? i don't know. much like the others, i'm not planning this out as i write. :::grins:::

ah, thank you baby. smoooooooooches. kisses.
Aug. 10th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
This is going to be interesting. I've been waiting for someone to write something about the whole Yoosu/ChunJae issue. Looking forward to more.
Aug. 10th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
ah, i have no idea how this is going to turn out. :::grins::: but it'll be fun? :::crosses fingers::: heh. smooches.
Aug. 10th, 2010 10:26 pm (UTC)
HOMG!!! New story!!! And I'm saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. *sobs* (lol) SuSu is my bias and seeing him so desperate here breaks my heart. DX The main pairing in here is YooSu???
Aug. 10th, 2010 10:48 pm (UTC)
ah the main pairing here is... um... yeah i don't know yet. :::winks::: it's theoretically called angsty yoosu. :::grins::: heh.

so i guess perhaps? more than likely :::snookies:::
Aug. 11th, 2010 02:51 am (UTC)
oowh..so Yunho is Junsu brother? n it's Yoosu? hmmm... basically I'm not a Yoosu fan (Yunjae ftw), but this one seems interesting.. I guess I give it a shot.. :)
Aug. 11th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
oh no, they are the band... um... junsu wants yunho to come over to japan and take care of jaejoong for him. he doesn't know what that means yet.

this is seriously an off-brand yoosu away from SMM. something to play with my brain :D
(no subject) - catzchii - Aug. 11th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wedspawn - Aug. 11th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2010 03:06 am (UTC)
I already commented
and I am so spamming
but I love it
Aug. 11th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
you are so cute.
Aug. 11th, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
Omg Yoosu ahhh but the angst is killing me lol can wait for more
Aug. 11th, 2010 05:07 am (UTC)
it is angst. i promised angst. :::nods::: well some angst. how much can i do? it's very... emo :D
Aug. 11th, 2010 05:25 am (UTC)
I've missed you! So happy to read another fic from you.

Poor Susu! Yoochun didn't know he was hurting him. Is Yoosu an item? Sorry, just a little confused.
Aug. 11th, 2010 05:27 am (UTC)
hello baby! :::grins::: ah, yoosu are not an item. ::winks::: totally au from SMM. and well, susu is in love. yoochun's a bit of a player i think. :D

Aug. 11th, 2010 05:30 am (UTC)
as much as i love your yoosu in smm, i deeply appreciate a yoosu angst. ♥

i am sooo looking forward to this. thank you and welcome back! ♥
Aug. 11th, 2010 05:33 am (UTC)
:::hugs::: and smooches. i'll be back every so many days and post a section. i'm using this to stretch my brain :::grins:::

heh.. and thank you. so much. love!
Aug. 11th, 2010 06:53 am (UTC)
akhakhakh MY YOOSU~~!!! /sobs
poor baby su.. *huggles him* yoochun better do something about it! coughthreesome

no cookies and milk for umma on this one... =P ♥
Aug. 11th, 2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
::::grins:::: hey! why no milk and cookies? :::sighs::: don't i always make the angst better later? um... maybe? :::grins:::

(Deleted comment)
Aug. 11th, 2010 01:59 pm (UTC)
heh. aw thank you. :::Grins::: this is play time only. :::winks::: i needed to work my brain a bit loose.
Aug. 11th, 2010 01:42 pm (UTC)
woot, new story :D i will definitely read this after i get a good night's sleep. ^^;;
Aug. 11th, 2010 02:00 pm (UTC)
hello and smooches! sweet dreams!
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 11th, 2010 02:05 pm (UTC)
Susu does have a deep friendship with Chun and well, i think he's always been the most tender one. inside. :::nods::: the other two are more protective of Junsu.

and ah, i blame SM. :::nods:::


heh.... there will be Yunho. i promise.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 12th, 2010 03:07 am (UTC)
hello baby! :::hugs::: what's the matter baby? :::stuffs you with kalbi and boba::::
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