this is for bardou who wanted YooSu angst.
Rating: NC-17ish for this section. Just a little bit.
Genre: It's complicated.
THIS IS TOTALLY AU FROM SMM. 100% off SMM. Not in any way related to So Much Mine, Lavender Bunny or anything else. This probably will be some hardcore NC-17 or hell, maybe fluffy. I dunno.
Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Se7en (heh), Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen
Laughter joined them. Even in the heat of passion, their mouths were given to as many smiles as kisses. Junsu was shyer. Despite his bold speech, the reality of Yoochun in bed with him struck him dumb, unable to do more than run his hands over the other man’s lean body. Darting his tongue along his upper lip, he nearly bit his cheek when Yoochun’s fingers began to explore the length of his sex.
“Yoochun-ah.” Junsu shifted, unsure if he should close his legs out of shame or daringly spread them and show Yoochun how much he liked the touch. “I’m…not sure what I’m doing.”
“Even after all of those times with Yunho?” Yoochun looked up, his dark eyes nearly hidden by the fall of hair from his forehead. “You’ve never gone this far?”
“You… know about…” Junsu blushed, turning to hide his face. His gut told him to flee. He’d kept Yunho a secret from Yoochun. To have the other man blatantly spill his knowledge nearly drove him from the bed in shame.
“I know,” Yoochun said, gripping Junsu’s chin and turning his head so he could see the other man’s face. He lay a kiss on Junsu’s blushing cheek then another at his full lower lip, sliding the tip of his tongue between the man’s lips just long enough to taste him. “I’ve known for a long time.”
“And you’re… still here?” Junsu stammered. He wasn’t sure about the conflicting emotions running through him. He wanted to hit Yoochun, pound him with clenched fists until they both bled from the fight but the other part of him breathed a sigh of relief. The weight of his secret was lifted, the burden no longer dragging his heart down.
“How could I not be here?” Yoochun stretched out onto Junsu’s body, sliding his knees between the other man’s legs and resting his elbows on the bed to take his weight. “I love you. Even when you make me mad, I still love you. Can’t you feel how much I want you?”
The evidence of Yoochun’s want prodded and pushed against Junsu’s leg, bringing another red wave to his face. A damp kiss of seed remained on Junsu’s thigh when the other man shifted, Yoochun’s sex stiffened and tight at the touch of Susu’s skin against him.
“You were… angry at me about Jaejoong… about all of this.” Junsu reminded him. “About lying to you. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to…”
“I know, Junsu-ah,” Yoochun said, rubbing away the tear running down Junsu’s cheek. “I was angry because… it was Jaejoong you hurt. Then I realized something…”
“What?” Junsu sniffled.
“Jaejoong took so much from you but you never really resented him for it.” A stroke of his fingers along Junsu’s belly calmed the flare of anger in the tenor’s eyes. “I never looked at things from your perspective but he told me…he showed me how you might feel. I was too selfish about how I felt. I never really stopped to think about how you felt.”
“Yunho was… my friend.” Junsu’s throat closed up and he struggled to talk. “Jaejoong… I don’t hate him, Chunnie-ah. I don’t. He’s my friend… like a brother to me but…”
“We can fight and hate our brothers sometimes, Susu-ah,” Yoochun teased. “You and Junho-hyung have a very weird relationship. It’s not normal. Brothers are supposed to fight. It’s a part of being a brother.”
“I didn’t want to fight over… Yunho,” Junsu admitted. “I didn’t even really mind when he became… the centre of Dong Bang Shin Ki instead of me because I knew he… could carry us further than I could but...”
“But?” Yoochun prodded.
“But I really wanted to punch his pretty face in when he took you away from me. He already had Yunho. Couldn’t he just leave you to me? Does he have to take up so much of your heart when I couldn’t even get you to admit you loved me?” Releasing the last bit of secret he held inside of him, Junsu finally relaxed, exhaling hard. “God it feels good to say that. It really does.”
“Do you still want to punch him?”
“No,” Junsu said. “What I really want is you.”
“You have me,” Yoochun replied, kissing Junsu lightly. “You always have. You always will.”
Junsu returned Yoochun’s kiss, taking his time with the other man’s mouth until they were both left gasping for air. Soft murmurs of pleasure grew louder as Yoochun toyed with Susu’s sex, spreading the milky drip at its head around the crown. Junsu reached for Yoochun only to have his hand pushed away.
“I want to taste you before I come inside of you, Susu.” He slide down the other man’s body, running his hands down his ribs and settling on his hips, resting his thumbs on the jut of bone he found there. “Lie back and let me have you. All of you, baby.”
Junsu closed his eyes, unable to believe the weight on his body was Yoochun’s. He ran his hands over the man’s shoulders, feeling the familiar ridges of muscles and sinew under his fingers. He knew the man’s body nearly as well as he knew his own. His tongue longed to know the taste of the feather tattoo on the man’s leg, having already kissed the spot in the middle of the night while Yoochun slept, then falling back into his own bed when Yoochun stirred.
His handsome, sometimes silly, grin touched Junsu’s dreams more often than he cared to admit and when Yoochun called his name, his heart hitched a beat, falling deeper and deeper in love with the young man he wanted to call his own. Despite the feel of Yoochun in his arms, Junsu wondered if he were dreaming and something… a noise from outside or perhaps even the ringing of his phone would jerk him out of his fantasy and he’d be left aching and crying from the loss.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Yoochun whispered, rubbing his cheek along Junsu’s collarbone. He liked the feel of the man’s silky skin on his face and indulged himself in the intimate luxury. “I can hear you thinking.”
“You… can’t.” Yoochun’s teeth bit into the bone along his shoulder and he twisted, unsure if he really wanted to break away or simply let the man devour him. “You can’t hear someone think…It’s not…”
“You, I can hear think,” Yoochun said softly. “Just like I can feel you sing. I know when you’ve been in the room and left right before I got there because my skin tightens, knowing my soul can’t be far away.”
“I feel… you too,” Junsu murmured, stroking at the other man’s temple with the back of his hand. “I… need you, Yoochun. I never thought I’d need anyone else but my brother or my parents but now it’s you I look for in my heart… it’s you first in my mind when I wake up and the one who follows me into my dreams when I fall asleep.”
“Good.” He touched noses with Junsu, nipping at the end of the man’s nose with his sharp teeth. “Because chasing you in my dreams is one of my favourite things to do. Now, shut up and let me finish what I started.”
Sliding down the young man’s body, Yoochun dipped his head down and licked at Junsu’s sex. He parted the slit of the man’s crown, working at the tender sensitive area until Junsu’s hips bucked and writhed uncontrollably. Holding the man’s hips firmly in his hands, Yoochun swallowed the length of his lover, working at the head with the back of his tongue.
The lotion he’d found in the bathroom was within reach but Yoochun held off on coating his fingers until it seemed as if Junsu couldn’t take much more of his ministrations. The salty leak of his seed filled the cup of Yoochun’s tongue and the baritone swallowed, humming around Junsu’s sex.
“Chun…Oh god,” Junsu exclaimed, twisting the bed’s linens around his wrists. The vibrations from Yoochun’s throats burrowed directly to his sac, priming his balls for release. When Yoochun’s fingers touched the crease of his entrance, he spread his legs further, moaning in anticipation when Yoochun uncapped the bottle and dribbled lotion into his hand.
Closing his palm to warm the cold fluid, Chun sucked hard on Junsu’s head then took a side of his lover’s sac into his mouth, rolling the ball around with his tongue before letting it fall from his lips then taking the other in. The heavy sac churned and twisted as Yoochun played with it, curling up tightly when he lay the tip of his tongue at the crinkled skin at Junsu’s entrance.
“Don’t… God, Chunnie. Not there,” Junsu gasped, trying to twist away from his lover. “That’s…”
“Did it hurt?” Yoochun asked, stroking at Junsu’s shaft, spreading the lotion from his palm over the stiff length. When Junsu whimpered and shook his head, the man smiled and locked eyes with his lover. “Then let me explore you. I want to see what you taste like…everywhere.”
“Yoochun-ah,” Junsu protested then his body stiffened, shocked at the press of Yoochun’s fingers at his entrance. “Please… don’t… I…”
“I like being able to make you speechless, Susu-ah,” Yoochun smiled before taking Junsu’s crown into his mouth and suckling it tight against his teeth.
Drawing back, he started a steady pull on the man’s sex, working into a rhythm Junsu matched with his thrusting hips. Slicking his fingers with the dribble of lotion coursing down Junsu’s groin, Yoochun teased and tested the man’s entrance, dipping the tip of his finger in then drawing back out. The tenor mewled then growled at the other man’s retreat.
“Want me here, baby?” Yoochun teased the pout, running his fingernail around the sensitive flesh. A slick drip of lotion trembled on the man’s entrance and Yoochun eased his finger in, twisting it up to fill Junsu’s heat.
The tenor moaned and clenched down on Yoochun’s intruding finger. His body locked up against it, rejecting the invasion then he took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax and push out, opening the way for Yoochun’s explorations.
“You feel like satin, baby,” Yoochun murmured, working his finger into slow circles, catching the ridge of Junsu’s entrance then delving in deeper. “You’re so hot. I can’t wait to have you around me, baby. I can’t wait to feel you catch me and hold me there.”
“I don’t…” Junsu tried to speak but couldn’t find the words in his brain to explain how he felt about Yoochun’s entering him and the soft pressure of the man’s hand against his sac, cupping him up with each thrust of his hand. Another finger joined the first and Junsu’s mind broke, unable to take the pleasure coursing through him. A familiar crumbling of emotions started in his belly and his cock wept a milky tear, then another before Yoochun leaned over to lick him clean.
The feel of the man’s rough tongue on his head burst thought Junsu’s control and he cried out, surprised at the sheer power of the orgasm screaming from his balls. His shaft jumped and twisted, sheathed in the warmth of Yoochun’s mouth as the other man worked his fingers into Junsu’s body. The brush of a fingertip against the sensitive nodule in his core shattered the darkness gathering in the front of him and Junsu fell into the crackling energy overtaking him.
A sharp pleasure spike hit, slamming into his brain then lifting for a second before striking over and over as he let loose strands of seed, soaking his stomach and Yoochun’s arm. Trembling, Junsu tried to push Yoochun away when the other man bent forward to lick him clean but his hands were too unsteady to do more than slap at the other man’s shoulders. With a grunting push, Yoochun bent over and ran his tongue along Junsu’s belly, twisting his fingers up to stroke at the rosette of nerves in Junsu’s channel.
“I need you, baby,” Yoochun whispered as he laved the young man’s tender, pale skin. “Can I? Have you?”
Junsu wondered if he had the wind in him to speak and he stuttered, trying to draw in enough air to do more than moan in increasing pleasure at Yoochun’s skillful fingers. A nod seemed to be enough encouragement and his groaning mewls appeared to arouse Yoochun’s shaft to a heavy thickness. He reached for the man’s sex but Yoochun slid further away.
“If you touch me, Susu-ah,” He said. “I’m going to come. Just watching you covering us nearly made me lose it.”
“I…” Junsu gulped. He wasn’t sure what to say… not at this point of their lovemaking. Yoochun pulled free of his body and he ached, wanting the man to touch him there again. Still, the turgid length of flesh between Yoochun’s legs gave him pause. “Is…that going to fit?”
“Pretty sure,” Yoochun laughed, kissing Junsu fully, leaving him breathless. “I have to ask you something, baby.”
“Okay.” Junsu blinked when Yoochun held up a foil square, its sides dimpled with a circle. Focusing on the package, he found himself blushing, despite just having Yoochun’s fingers deep inside of him and begging the other man for more. “That’s…”
“I’m asking you… do I need this?” Yoochun’s dark eyes were solemnly sober, so different from the passionate dreamer or sultry clown he often was with Junsu. “I… know I am safe and I think you are too but if you feel like you need to wait…because you aren’t sure about me just yet, I’ll understand. Okay? I’m not asking you if you’re clean. I’m asking you to know for sure that you trust me this much to go without it.”
“No,” Junsu swallowed then shook his head. “I mean, I trust you, Chunnie. There’s never been… never will be anyone but you.”
“Same here, baby.”
The kiss they shared was sweet, tentative as if they were touching for the first time. Junsu wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck, holding the man close. Not breaking their kiss, Yoochun hooked Junsu’s legs over his shoulders, carefully pushing up the man’s hips until he could slide a pillow under him. Nested into the soft cushion and splayed open for Yoochun’s touch, Junsu trembled, shaking at the thought of what was coming next.
“Breathe, Susu,” Yoochun whispered, his lips brushing Junsu’s. “Trust me to stop. Trust me to do anything you want me to do to you. I only want to make you happy.”
He clutched the man’s shoulders, arching his back when Yoochun fitted the head of his sex to Junsu’s entrance and pushed gently in. Forcing his body open, Junsu panted in short, hot breaths as his lover delved in. The pop of Yoochun’s head fitting past the ring on his core broke Junsu’s hold on his nerves and he sobbed, relieved at the lack of pressure on his body.
“Do you want…”
“No, no,” Junsu nearly cried out, not wanting the man to pull free from his body. “Just give me a little bit,. Please… I need this, Chunnie. God I need this so much but it…”
“It hurts a bit. I know. I’m sorry, baby.” Yoochun rubbed at Junsu’s thighs and began leaving a trail of kisses over the man’s chest. Tonguing one of Junsu’s nipples made the man twitch under him and the stiffness in Junsu’s body gave way to a gentle rocking of the man’s hips.
“Now, agi,” Junsu urged, rolling his hips up to meet Yoochun’s gentle rocking. “Please… now. Please.”
Thrusting up, Yoochun took long stroked, filling his lover’s heat with his sex. The air grew thick with musk and whispers, Junsu softly crying out when Yoochun found the spot inside of him to send his senses tingling. Gripping Junsu’s thighs, Yoochun dug his fingers in and arched his back when Junsu responded with a rake of his nails over Yoochun’s arms and shoulders. The sting of air on his flesh warned Yoochun the other man opened him up but he was past the point of caring. Junsu’s muscles closed over him, pulling him in deeper and he angled up, striking the sweet spot inside of his lover with a steady beat.
Their murmurs grew to a heady grunting and Yoochun let go of Junsu’s legs, resting his weight on his hands near Junsu’s shoulders. A drop of sweat fell from his brow, striking Junsu’s mouth and the baritone groaned in frustration when the man licked at the salty water. With his hair damp with the effort of plunging in and out of Junsu’s hot embrace.
“So close, Susu,” Yoochun panted, feeling the strain of his climax pooling up from his groin. He slowed his pace, wanting to prolong the sensation of being inside of his lover but Junsu’s writhing drove him insane, the twisting hot give and take of Junsu’s body increasing the pressure on his impending climax. “Touch yourself, baby. Come for me. Make me feel you come when I’m inside of you.”
Junsu’s fingers shook as he took hold of himself and stroked, unable to find a good rhythm until Yoochun bent over and kissed him, taking possession of Junsu’s mouth with firm, demanding lips. His hair fell forward, brushing Junsu’s face, leaving streaks in the sheen of sweat on the man’s cheeks. Curtained by Yoochun’s long hair, Junsu felt his world fold in, tightening until only the two of them existed in the space where their breaths mingled.
Yoochun’s thrusts became languid, slowly burning through Junsu’s tightly held control. Each rub of the man’s shaft inside of his body sparked a trail of tingling pleasures through his nerves until Junsu could no longer take a breath without the feel of Yoochun’s sex overpowering him. The slightest movement carried his orgasm closer and despite the slower pace of his hips, Yoochun knew his lover was close when Junsu began trembling uncontrollably around him. Yoochun picked up his pace, rocking forward and trapping Junsu’s sex between them, the singer’s knuckles brushing his stomach.
“Look at me, baby,” Yoochun ordered, meeting Junsu’s gaze when the singer’s eyes fluttered open. Staring down into the young man’s flecked brown eyes, he parted his lips and swallowed Junsu’s cries when the singer came again, jerking spurts of hot liquid coating their bellies. Yoochun thrust once more than again, bracing himself for what was about to hit.
Tucked deep inside of Junsu’s body, he let himself go, filling his lover to the brim with his spill. Unable to stop, he continued to rock, needing the prickles of raspy pleasure rake over his sex and travel up his spine until they emerged from his open mouth, guttural pleas for Junsu’s love and the need to be cherished by the man who held him.
They lay tangled around one another, smelling of sex and the vanilla from the lotion, their breaths staggered and uneven. Junsu kept his arms tight around Yoochun’s torso, refusing to let the man go when the other man tried to break away.
“Don’t run, Yoochun,” Junsu begged. “Please, not now. Not when I have you here.”
“I love you, Susu. I do.” He gulped, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe.
“I love you too, Yoochun-ah,” Junsu gasped, holding his lover to him. A hot splash of liquid hit his shoulder and he bit his lip, feeling Yoochun’s sobs rattle through him. “Don’t cry, Chunnie. I love you. I will always love you. I’m here.”
“I can’t lose you, Junsu-ah,” Overwhelmed, Yoochun buried his face into Junsu’s neck, rocking the man in his arms as he slipped damp and flaccid from his body. “I think now… that we… that you know how much I love you, I’m going to lose you like I’ve lost everyone else.”
“It’s too much, Susu. This… us…it’s so much. I don’t know how to…feel,” Yoochun hiccupped, smiling around his tears. “I’ve never had a lover. I never ever expected anyone to love me, you know? I just… it’s so much. I think I love you too much.”
“You can never love me too much, Chunnie-ah.” Junsu kissed the corners of Yoochun’s upturned eyes, whispering softly into his lover’s tears. “Just like I can never love you too much. No one else can make me feel like you do. We were just meant to be. Here. Together. Always. It can never, ever be too much.”